Beyond the pale

At the end of winter, I am so pale it borders upon light blue. I've never gone into a UV tanning bed because, hello, thymine dimers much? This year for the first time, I was considering trying to reduce the pale so I didn't spend the first couple of months of summer with lunar legs. I was thinking about getting a spray tan, which has the benefit of not causing skin cancer, but after some discussion with friends I realized they don't work how I thought they worked. "Oh they look pretty good but make sure you exfoliate first because otherwise it will flake off unevenly." What? It comes off? Somehow, even though it is essentially sprayed onto your skin, I thought it just sort of coloring that gradually faded and that I could get one at the start of summer and just build up from there. Apparently not. So I opted for a third choice, a tinted moisturizer. Dove makes one called Summer Glow- "mosturiser with a hint of self tanning agent gradually builds a self tan." Despite the lack of proper grammar and the z-less Australian spelling of moisturizer, it sounded like what I was after. Something to bring my legs from translucent blue up to pale before my trip to Queensland. And it worked! I used it 5 or 6 times before the trip and got just a hint of color, with no streaks! So I thought I'd share in case anyone else is looking for such a product.

For my next consumer report, I'll post a review of the new potato chip flavor to hit the Australian shevles: meat pie and sauce. I kid you not.