Weekend Report

Friday- Flew out to Chicago (and boy are my arms tired! Snort.) to attend my friend Kori's wedding. The whole weekend was a great time- I got a chance to catch up with a lot of college friends, several of whom I hadn't seen in a while. Friday night, I went out to dinner with Ern and Pat at Spanish restaurant, Cafe Iberico, then met up with the wedding entourage at Rock Bottom Brewery for a party.

Saturday- Went out to drunch (drinking brunch/lunch) with a group of Chicago friends at Joey's Brickhouse, a really fun restaurant with $12 all you can eat and $1 drinks. Hello, bloody marys! They also have a make-your-own-smore station at the bar, which I didn't notice until I looked up noticed, with surprise, Kelly toasting a marshmallow. After drunch, it was back to the hotel for a quick change and off to the ceremony, where I soon realized that the rest of the country isn't quite as formal as we East Coasters. The wedding was a black tie optional, which, in my mind, means that men have the option of wearing a tux or a suit, and all women wear long dresses. However, Ern and I were the only guests in long dresses. Oh well. The service was held a church in DePaul, and the reception followed at Cafe Brauer, a beautiful hall that overlooks the Lincoln Park Zoo. Much merriment ensued. The band was great, and I spent almost the entire night on the dance floor. Some pictures:

I somehow managed not to get a single decent shot of the bride and groom. Good thing they have professionals to do that sort of thing.








Sunday- I attended the post-wedding breakfast, where we rehashed the hilarity of the previous evening, then traveled back to Boston.

Monday- I normally work on holidays but I opted to use this one as a personal day. I slept in, went for a long run on the beach, cleaned my apartment, met friends for lunch at Spice & Rice in Inman Square, visited my grandparents, bought some plants for my deck, and then arrived home for an impromptu cookout Ern and Pat had organized. A perfect day, aside from the fact that the Celtics couldn't steal a second game in Detroit.

Those Texas polygamysts should be arrested...

...by the fashion police!
ZING!

I'm headed to Chicago today for a black tie optional wedding. Maybe one of these broads can lend me an outfit.


From what I've read, I'm on the side of the state of Texas on this case:
"The state made its case in an earlier court hearing. “There is a culture of young girls being pregnant by old men,” said Angie Voss, an investigator with Child Protective Services, who participated in the raid and interviewed girls at the ranch. Ms. Voss testified that she had found evidence that “more than 20 girls, some of whom are now adults, have conceived or given birth under the age of 16 or 17.”

Institutionalized abuse and coercion shouldn't be allowed to hide under the guise of religious freedom. Something tells me that these girls who grow up in a crazy cult compound aren't really exercising their own free will when they get and knocked up by old dudes.

Well, on that note, have a happy holiday weekend, everyone!

Happiness is a new phone

I'm in love with two things right now.

The first is these guys:

Nice win tonight! Oh, and I came across this email. Okay, by "came across" I mean "fabricated," and I'm sure KG doesn't pay attention to what Debby Downer sportswriters have to say about him anyways, but if he did construct a response to two recent negative columns, I imagine that it would resemble something like this:

From: Kevin Garnett
To: Dan Shaughnessy
Cc: Bill Simmons

Hi guys,

Suck it.

KG

The second is my new phone.

It's orange! And it has a keypad! I'm in love. As an added bonus, the helpful Verizon salesgirl asked me where I worked. I thought she was just making small talk, but I answered and discovered that I have a corporate discount- 22% off my monthly bill, from this point forward. Hooray! So, if you haven't already, I'd recommend calling your service provider to find out if your workplace could be saving you some money.

Senator Ted Kennedy diagnosed with a brain tumor

Massachusetts Senator and Democratic legend Ted Kennedy was hospitalized over the weekend after having seizures, and the news just got worse- he has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.

Despite the criticism of his personal life, Ted Kennedy is one of my all-time favorite politicians and someone I admire and respect as a true liberal. Best wishes to him for a complete and rapid recovery.

Eat Your Vegetables

Lately, my vegetable intake has been woefully inadequate, so I decided to rectify the situation by trying one of the recipes on Sarah's delightful cooking blog: Spaghetti Squash Primavera. The result? Yum!


A healthy meal that's tasty, filling, and easy to make, except for the part when you have to cut the squash in half. I don't know if I just don't have the proper knife, or if I lack Italian housewife strength, but after ten minutes of struggling with that squash, I was ready to grab a sledgehammer and go Gallagher on it. The recipe actually comes from Weight Watchers, so if you're a point counter, it's worth 4. Of course, I added some garlic bread and white wine, so that certainly bumped it up a bit.

OMG.

Somehow, somewhere, sometime during the years 2005 and 2006, some guy named Dave posted a bunch of funny stories from his childhood. In all caps. AND THEY ARE FUCKING HILARIOUS.

TIME FOR SOME STORIES.

So bizzare. So funny. So addictive. I think the one about the Cub Scout Float was my favorite.
I wonder what happened to this guy, because he just may be our generation's J.D. Salinger.

via Metafilter

Weekend Report

Friday- Got together with friends to watch the Celtics. The outcome of the game wasn't so great, but that's water under the bridge at this point, and it was fun hanging out with some friends whom I don't get to see very often.

Saturday- Headed to Plymouth for my friend Jen's bachelorette party. I hadn't been to Plymouth since I was a kid, and I really enjoyed it this time around- it was a perfect spot for the occasion. We stayed at the John Carver Inn and started off the day with some delicious bloody marys and a trip to the spa. The hotel has a very unique indoor pool- a replica Mayflower ship with a waterslide, and a hot tub in the shape of Plymouth Rock. Cheesy as hell, but I'll be the first to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed it. We even came up with our own synchronized swimming routine, much to the amusement of the other hotel guests. We had dinner at the East Bay Grille and then ventured to a cute little waterfront spot, the Cabby Shack, for drinks and dancing to a live band. All in all, we had a great time, and Plymouth's director of tourism better watch out, because I came up with a winning slogan for the seaside town: Plymouth Rocks!

Sunday- After a greasy post-night out breakfast, I drove back to Boston in time for Game 7. The finale was by far the most exciting game of the series and soon turned into a Paul Pierce - LeBron James offensive duel, with the Celtics coming away with the win 97-92. Pierce was the star of the show, and my favorite moment was the smile he couldn't hide when his late-game free throw took a favorable bounce. Bench players and NBA veterans Eddie House and P.J. Brown played a key role in the securing the victory, coming off the bench to provide energetic defense and hit several clutch shots. Now, bring on Detroit! I'm hoping that things work out for the Celtics, but these conference rivals tend to bring out the best in each other and match up very well, so this series should be a fun one to watch.

Sunday night, I caught a band that I really like, Devotchka, at the Paradise. They seem to defy classification- a rock group from Denver with a heavy Mexican and Eastern European folk influence, perhaps? It's not every day that a tuba and accordion share a stage with electric guitars and a string quartet. The show was more like a musical performance or instrument showcase than a traditional rock concert, and they sounded great- crisp, clear sound with the perfect amount of volume. My pictures came out crappy but I found some nice ones over on this blog.

Mix Tape!

I saw one of these on Freakgirl's site and just had to try it out. Enjoy!

I Love You But I Have Grown Weary of Your Incessant Events

Warning: I'm in a crap mood and am currently wearing my bitchpants. But if I can't write a whiny, self-absorbed post on my own blog, then what good is it?

Those of you who regularly check in on DCoE may have noticed that my posting of late has become rather uninspired. Why? I'm exhausted. Why? Two reasons. One: I've been working a lot. Two: The Events. Weddings, birthday parties, housewarmings, bridal showers, baby showers, goodbye parties, bachelorette parties, graduation parties, engagement parties, and so on. They're taking over my life. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends. My kooky family and my friendships are by far the best aspect of my life and, to be honest, all that I have. Well, them and booze. But I've been so busy attending the aforementioned events that I haven't spent any waking time at home in weeks. The Netflix movies that came in January? Still sitting on top of the television, unwatched. The fridge? Populated by half empty containers of salsa and mustard. Nary a vegetable in sight. The laundry situation? Dire. And sometimes I like to lie on the couch and watch Lost, or cook a nice meal for myself and record it in my cooking scrapbook (Yes, it's nerdy. Shut up.) or sleep in then go for a long run on Sunday morning, but it seems like I'm always scurrying off to some sort of daytime party. Maybe it's part of getting older- everyone has such busy schedules that socializing is confined to planned events. An overabundance of planned events.

So, I've made a decision. I'm going to start declining some of these Evites and invitations. Even if I don't have a specific conflict.
But maybe in a couple of weeks, let's go grab a drink after work, or catch a movie. Or just stay in and hang out and order a pizza. No need to pick out an outfit, or buy a gift. No RSVP required.

This Just In: Manny Still Manny

While I was focused on watching the Celtics beat the Cavs to take a 3-2 series lead (KG and PP had fantastic games, but it was Rondo's back to back threes at the end of the first half that saved the Celtics), Manny Ramirez was making an inspired play: he makes a great catch at the wall, high fives a fan, and then turns and throws to get the runner out. Here's the video.

Update: The Joy of Sox has published an interview with the high fivee. It's a cute story- he's a Red Sox fan from Oklahoma who was attending his first-ever MLB game.

Pirate Radio in Boston

Over on Universal Hub, I've been following the story of Touch 106.1 FM, a pirate radio station based out of Blue Hill Avenue in Dorchester. The station primarily serves the Roxbury, Dorchester, and Mattapan neighborhoods of Boston and has filled the void left when Boston's only hip-hop station, Hot 97.7, was sold. The FCC has cracked down on proprietor Charles Clemons but, as far as I know, the station is still broadcasting.

Yeah, I know it's illegal and all, and I'm not even into hip-hop, but I can't help but root for Touch FM. Maybe I'm romanticizing things, but the idea of a guy operating a covert radio station strikes me as kind of awesome, in a damn-the-man Pump Up The Volume sort of way.

This story also illustrates the notion that sometimes bloggers are the best source for local news. I haven't seen anything about Touch FM in the Globe or the Herald.

Update: Dochester's local paper profiles the station.

Apparently it costs more for Anthony Kiedis

Subject line of a junk email I received from a travel company:
Flea to London and Paris for less‏

On a related subject, does VH1 still make Behind the Music? The Red Hot Chili Peppers episode was one of my favorites. The Rise and Fall of MC Hammer still takes the cake, though.

Book Review: Geek Love, by Katherine Dunn

I recently read what could be the most demented novel ever written: Geek Love. Geek Love tells the story of the Binewski family, owners and main attractions of a traveling carnival. The patriarchs, Al and Crystal Lil, decide to breed their own carnival freaks and proceed do so with the aid of various drugs, chemicals, and radioisotopes. After various failures whose mutated bodies are preserved in glass jars for display, they have four (or 5, depending on how you count) surviving children: Arturo, who has flippers for limbs, Siamese twins Iphy and Elly, the albino hunchback midget narrator Olympia, and Fortunado, nicknamed Chick, who outwardly resembles a "norm" but wields powerful telekinetic abilities. I almost put the book aside for good after reading the first ten pages. I'm not normally squeamish or particularly easy to offend, but a mother intentionally giving her children birth defects? That's a pretty fucked up premise right there. Additionally, the language can be unsettlingly vulgar at times. Curiosity, perhaps, led me to continue reading. Besides, it couldn't get any more twisted than that, right? WRONG. In the Binewski family, it is Arty who reigns supreme, and his siblings vie for his attention and clamor to fulfill his demands. They are not the only ones under the spell of the vicious, cunning, and manipulative Aqua Boy; he becomes the leader of his own cult, whose followers trail the carnival and undergo voluntary amputations. The story of the Binewskis is horrifying and grotesque, but also quite fascinating. Imagine a collaboration between John Irving and David Lynch, but ten times more twisted, and you've got something close to Geek Love. I can't exactly say that I liked it, but I was certainly mesmerized. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone without a mountain of caveats, and I feel terrible that I gave a copy of it to a friend for her birthday before I had read it. "Happy birthday. Here's the most fucked up book EVAR. Hope you like it!" However, if you can get over the repellent aspects of the novel, Geek Love is definitely an imaginative and creative work of fiction.

Movie Review: Iron Man

I saw Iron Man last night and I loved it. In spite of my innate nerdiness, I was never that into comic books and therefore didn't really know anything about Iron Man. Tony Stark is the protagonist, a wealthy MIT grad who inherits his father's weapons operation and flourishes in the business, until he is captured by a group of warlords in Afghanistan. Tony escapes and undergoes a change of heart about his position as a defense contractor (partly due to the fact that Stark missiles have become the weapons of choice for the world's terrorists) and decides to use his engineering prowess for good, using a flashy, kick-ass robotic suit. That's really all you need to know. The movie is a ton of fun- interesting plot, likeable characters, and cool but not overwhelming special effects. As the main character Tony Stark, Robert Downey Jr. is hilarious, sexy, and entirely believable. The supporting cast also shines- I even liked Gwenyth Paltrow as the token comic book female, Miss Pepper Potts. Oh, and the ending rocks, and features the best use of Black Sabbath in cinema history.

We saw Kate Hudson, who is currently filming a movie in Boston, at the theater with her kid. I didn't even recognize her until Maria pointed her out- she looked just like a regular girl, in jeans and a pony tail, and much shorter than I imagined (aren't they all? Holllywood....Land of the Lilliputians). I felt sorry for her- she can't even go to the movies without everyone noticing and gawking at her. But that didn't stop me from staring.

Best Commercial I've Seen in a Long, Long Time

It's been a long time since something I've seen online actually made me laugh out loud. Now, watch this and make sure you have the sound on. Seriously, folks, who would have ever thought the Walk of Shame could inspire such lyrical genius?

Celtics looked dominant in their win tonight. I was having a lousy day at work, listening to the first quarter on a staticy AM station in the lab, and all I wanted was to do was watch the game on television with a friend, eat pizza, and drink a beer or two. I texted Maria to see what she was up to and she invited me over. I suggested pizza and she concurred, then surprised me with beer and Lactaid ice cream. Which led to the the creation and consumption of an Ocho de Mayo Beer Float: Vanilla Ice Cream and Dos Equis. At first, it wasn't half bad, but once the ice cream melted, it tasted pretty nasty.

Now go back up and watch that commercial if you skipped it. You'll be glad that you did.

Random (but not Deep) Thoughs

First off, last night's Celtics win sure was ugly, but a win nonetheless. Posey's clutch free throws really sealed the deal. I was glad to see that KG had a great game, especially after all the "KG never comes up big in the playoffs" criticisms started cropping up in the media last week. One of my least favorite sports writers, Dan Shaughnessy, even compared him to A-Rod, a lame and blatant ploy for attention (although I guess it's working because here I am commenting about it, but whatever, I'll hold my moral ground by not linking to the article). First off, this is the NBA. Not everything has to be wedged into a Red Sox vs. Yankees framework to make it interesting to Boston sports fans. If you're going to make a comparison, there are plenty of ringless NBA veterans from whom to choose. Before Peyton Manning won a Superbowl, he was compared to Dan Marino, not a player from an entirely different sport.

If you were to order a custom made beer themed coffin, which brew would you choose? Well, Illinois man Bill Bramanti surely loves Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Holy crap, it must suck to live in Myanmar. Brutal military government, half the world still thinks your country is named Burma, and now a devastating cyclone.

And in case you wondered, like I did, what is the difference between a hurricane and a cyclone, here's your answer:

A tropical cyclone is the generic term for a non-frontal synoptic scale low-pressure system over tropical or sub-tropical waters with organized convection (i.e. thunderstorm activity) and definite cyclonic surface wind circulation. If winds reach 33 m/s (64 kt, 74 mph)), then they are called:
"hurricane" (the North Atlantic Ocean, the Northeast Pacific Ocean east of the dateline, or the South Pacific Ocean east of 160E)
"typhoon" (the Northwest Pacific Ocean west of the dateline)
"severe tropical cyclone" (the Southwest Pacific Ocean west of 160E or Southeast Indian Ocean east of 90E)
"severe cyclonic storm" (the North Indian Ocean)
"tropical cyclone" (the Southwest Indian Ocean)

Now, don't say you never learned anything on DCoE.

From the Bridesmaid Files

a.k.a Girl Humor, Part II.

My sister Kerry and I are trying on bridesmaid dresses for our sister Eri's wedding. I pull on one of the dresses.

Me: Wow, this one's really comfortable! The fabric is so soft and stretchy.

Kerry: I liked that one, too. How much does it cost?

Me: Checks tag. Um....., Kerry? It's a maternity dress.

Kerry: We are NOT getting that one.

Weekend Report- NYC edition

A large conglomerate of old friends and me convened in New York City for a very fun and gluttonous weekend. Friday night we gathered at a generic Fake Irish bar near Times Square for a long night of conversation and merriment. Saturday we brunched and then attended a fundraiser/derby party/Yuengling drinking contest at a bar, which set a drunken tone for the remainder of the day. We had drunk dinner at a delicious Greek restaurant, whose staff wisely had the foresight to seat us in the corner and separate us from the other patrons using a buffer of empty tables. However, it seemed that at that point, we were still more amusing than annoying, because they were quite pleasant and even gave us a round of shots on the house. After that, we went to a bar in the Meat Packing District. I don't know what the name of it was, but I do know one thing: if you give your friends open access to your camera and encourage them to take pictures, you will end up with A LOT of crotch shots.

Here are some crotch-free selections from the weekend:
Buddah is currently sporting some wacky sideburns that make him resemble a cross between Wolverine and Martin Van Buren.

Friday night, I met up IRL with fellow blogger and NBA fan Kevin from Ghost in the Machine. Here we are making our blog faces:

Aimee and Melissa, looking like Breck Hair Models:

Amanda arrived carrying a trophy she had won in a volleyball tournament earlier that night. Good thing the bar randomly had a trophy case! And yes, unbeknownst to Connolly's Pub, the trophy is now a permanent part of their collection.

Ern and Maria steppin' out in Times Square:

Saturday began with a lovely brunch at the Barking Dog:

We walked around for a while and admired statues (the flying newspaper in the corner of the photo soon landed on Amanda's head) and exquisite women's clothing.

Quoth Maria: "New York is really expensive. I can't even afford to honk."

One of the highlights of the weekend was walking down the sidewalk and glancing over to discover that my friends had spontaneously started walking in formation and snapping, West Side Story style.

Amanda, Deepa, and MJ at The Snug:

My favorite picture of the weekend, entitled Looking Towards The Future (despite the fact that JR appears to be Gazing At The Past):

Sunday, we walked around the seaport for a while before we headed back to Boston. The weather was ideal for a family portrait, and Liz and I considered it a fine time to show off our pale legs and old man socks. Oh, and yes I did wear the same shirt all weekend. What?

Here is an oddly-phrased sign:

"Hard Hats Required" might have been a more straightforward way to deliver the message, but if you prefer to use a guilt tinged, passive aggressive wording that conjures up images of child labor, well, I guess that works, too.

One more thing: I decided to do a discount bus comparison this weekend. JR and I took the infamous Fung Wah on Friday afternoon, and I rode back on the new Bolt Bus with Ern and Maria on Sunday. The verdict? Bolt Bus = Dolt Bus. The departure was completely disorganized- all of the passengers were milling around two empty busses for a solid half an hour, but no one was there to tell us which bus was going to to Boston and which to Philly. Our 4PM departure didn't board until after 4:00 and didn't leave until almost 4:20, and then took a roundabout route out of the city, landing us in major road congestion. What's even worse is that Maria and Ern were supposed to take the Bolt Bus down on Friday night, but their bus never showed up. After waiting for almost an hour, they paid another $15 and hopped on a Lucky Star instead. I know that the Bolt is a new business, but since they are administered by Greyhoud, you think they'd have enough experience to know how to run a bus line. Sure, the free wireless is nice, but I'll stick with the Fung Wah from now on. I prefer my busses highly efficient, with an element of danger.

Excuse me, ma'am, your meme is showing.

Stacey tagged me for a meme. Here goes!

1. The rules of the game get posted on the beginning.
2. Each player answers the rules about him or herself.
3. At the end of the post, the player tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read his [or her] blog.

What I was doing ten years ago:
I was 20. Wow, that was ten years ago? I was in school and roommates with my friend Ern.
Sound familiar? Maybe because IT’S THE EXACT SAME THING I’M DOING NOW.

Five things on my To-Do list today:
1. Order 15% gels
2. Cut spots out of gels for mass spectrometry.
3. Measure A260 of ribosome samples.
4. Perform isoelectric focusing on new ribosome samples.
5. Titrate DNA template into an in vitro translation assay.
6. This is why I never blog about work.
7. I only accomplished two things on the list at I’m still at the lab and it’s 10:40PM.
8. That is why grad school takes so darn long.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Pay off my debts. Give money and/or extravagant gifts to friends and family. Send money to the family I lived with in Nicaragua. Trade in the used minivan for a new mini cooper. Travel the world. Buy a nice apartment in Boston. Buy a vacation house somewhere cool. Invest. Donate. Throw fabulous parties. Buy equipment and uniforms for all of the soccer teams in the women’s league that I played with in Nicaragua. Fund a school/orphanage for street kids in Managua. If the orphanage thing goes well, use the rest of the money to set up similar schools/orphanages in impoverished cities worldwide.

Three of my bad habits:
1. Procrastination!
2. Spending money I don’t have, and never will, unless that whole billionaire thing pans out.
3. Lugging all of my gym clothes and sneakers to work and then not going to the gym.

Five places I’ve lived:
1. Long Beach, CA. Just like Snoop Dogg, I was born there. But I was two when we moved so I don't remember anything about it.
2. Framingham, MA. The largest town in America!
3. South Bend, IN.
4. El Regadío, Nicaragua.
5. South Boston, MA.

I have lived in exactly five places, total.

Five jobs I’ve had:
1. Discovery Zone. I don’t know what my job title was, but I usually hid out in the back room making pizza and washing dishes and eating leftover birthday cake with my friend Nikki.
2. Waitress.
3. Dining hall worker.
4. Laboratory technician.
5. Peace Corps Volunteer.

Five books I’ve recently read:
1. Saturday, by Ian McEwan
2. Midnight’s Children, by Salman Rushdie.
3. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
4. Can I Keep My Jersey?, by Paul Shirley
5. A Model World and Other Stories, by Michael Chabon

Good thing I have a blog where I keep track of that sort of thing.

Five people or communities I’m going to tag:
I dislike tagging people, but I’m going to do it anyways. Feel free to ignore, and if I haven’t tagged you, feel free to participate.
1. Meg
2. Lisa
3. Jason
4. Rob
5. Maria (maybe it will inspire you to start posting again.)

Sports Links!

Here are a few sports themed articles I've been meaning to post:

• Jackie MacMullan wrote a fascinating article on the different styles of the Celtics' big 3, focusing on Ray Allen and the fact that he's completely OCD: Routine excellence is Allen's secret.
• The two most famous and successful baseball players from Colombia (former Red Sox Edgar Renteria and Orlando Cabrera) don't exactly get along. ESPN's Jorge Arangure Jr. wrote an article about their feud.
• On Boston.com, you can track Manny Ramirez's home runs. All 496 of them.
• And lastly, there's a blog all about the History of Sports Streaking. Complete with pictures. Highly NSFW. Not Safe For Anywhere, really. But pretty entertaining.

Enjoy!

That's more like it!

Celtics won big last night, defeating the Atlanta Hawks 110-85. My friend Will and I went to the game...I swear, even though it looks like I photoshopped us in to the picture. Although the final score doesn't reflect it and the Celtics led for basically the entire game, the Hawks stayed with them. Considering that they came back from a ten point deficit to win game 4, it was enough to make me nervous. The big 3 played well, and Rondo and Cassell also had good games. I like Powe on the court in this series more than Perk- he's just too slow on the defensive end against a young, quick team like the Hawks. The one thing I don't understand is how the Hawks were so bad all season. During the playoffs, they certainly haven't looked like a below .500 team. The Celtics did cement the lead enough for Gino to make an appearance. Years ago, whenever the Celtics had a big lead at the end of the game, they started playing this absurd disco dancing video from the 70s on the jumbotron. It's hilarious, and the fans go crazy for it, especially for the smooth cat in tight pants and a t-shirt bearing his own name: Gino.




Now, they just have to win in Atlanta and put this strange series to bed.

Girl Humor

There are three types of humor I enjoy. The first is Universal Humor...things that are unequivocally funny to all audiences, like someone falling. In a funny way. Not like off-the-edge-of-a-tall-building funny. Or The Mansy. If you don't think the Mansy is funny, there is something wrong with you.


The second is Science Humor. Things that are funny to only to scientists. Here's an example of a conversation my coworkers and I had about Barry Bonds breaking the home run record:

"Hey, did you know that the guy who caught the ball is a lab tech at a DNA
sequencing facility?"

"No way! What do you think he yelled when he caught it?"

"GAG! TATA!"

"TAG! CAT!"

Yep, we're nerds.


The third is Girl Humor. Things that are funny only if you're a girl. Contrary to popular belief, Girl Humor does not mean lame romantic comedies. A big part of it is alluding to something within the female realm, like making a reference to the Baby-Sitters Club or Anne of Green Gables. The girls who write Go Fug Yourself excel at this. Sarah's posts frequently crack me up, and a couple of times my friend JR has seen me reading them and been all "What's so funny?" and I say something like "Oh, you wouldn't understand." whereas I can't wait to show my roommate.

Here's a recent email exchange between my sisters that made me laugh, but I'm guessing it's probably only funny if you're a girl. Or have been involved with a lot of weddings. (Hmmm... now seems like a good time to tell everyone that if you send me an email, I might just share the content with the entire internet. Unless you object, of course.)

From: Eri
So... Ryan and I have picked the following colors: Brown, Gold, Ivory, Kiwi Green (as offsetting color). Please look at dresses that are either brown or gold. Let me know which one you think works better.

From: Kerry
Sounds good. I'd vote for brown dresses, gold accessories and shoes, and ivory flowers with a kiwi accents and a kiwi ribbon. It's going to look hot.

From: Eri
I like your idea on the dress, I am not sure of the ribbon, I guess it depends on the dress, but it's for sure not a deal breaker, whatever you guys feel most comfortable in.

From: Kerry
Dude, the ribbon goes on the flowers. I'd look like an ass with a kiwi ribbon on me.

For the record

I am going to the Celtics game tomorrow night, and if they don't win, I seriously might throw up on myself.

I want a win, and I want a dominant one. I want Gino!

Weekend Report

Friday- My college friend Justin was in town searching for apartment, spending his days roaming around town with various realtors (a word I can't pronounce correctly- I say "real-a-tor" but whatever) looking at overpriced studios in Brookline and the Fens and his nights sleeping on a couch approximately two feet shorter than he is. We joined a group of friends for tapas and sangria at BarLola. I've been there a couple of times and always enjoyed it- decent prices, tasty food, friendly service and a fun atmosphere. It was too chilly to sit on the patio, so we ended up inside at a comfortable booth in a cozy little alcove. After the tapas, JR, Justin, Ern and I decided to class things up (for once) and hit the Oak Bar for martinis.

Saturday and Sunday flew by in a whirlwind of work, soccer, apartment hunting, friend visiting, and Lost watching.

Three Items Or Less

I have decided that I have a threshold for the number of objects I can keep track of at any given time, and that number is three. Wallet, keys, and phone. Throw something else into the mix, let's say an umbrella or a pair of sunglasses, and something is bound to go missing. Fortunately, it tends to be the umbrella or sunglasses and not the more crucial items. However, the outcome is that for me, umbrellas and sunglasses are essentially disposable products, good for one use only. And you know that theory that if you buy an expensive pair of sunglasses, you'll take better care of them and not lose them? Well, my data* disprove that hypothesis. I once bought a really cool umbrella at the Museum of Fine Arts that cost around $40 dollars, and I lost it the very same day, within two hours. I think if I ever get engaged and my fiance gives me a diamond ring (two very big ifs, considering that I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not really into the whole diamond thing, but bear with me, people.), I will inevitably lose it, and be all upset "Oh my gosh I am so sorry that I lost the really expensive diamond ring you bought me! Waaaah!" and he'll reply "Oh, that's okay. It was fake." and I'll be like "You jerk! THANK GOD." because obviously fictional fiance would know me well enough to realize that I would lose said diamond ring.

Anyways, yesterday I bought my third pair of sunglasses of the year.

*data = plural, datum = singular

List #39... Names People Call Me Instead of Eileen

People screw up my name all the time. For example, the guy that delivers packages to my lab thinks my name is Elaine, even though Eileen is clearly written on all of boxes. He comes in a couple of times a week and calls out "Elaine!" with a booming voice, much to the amusement of my labmates. At this point, it's futile to correct him, so I just go along with it. Sure, a lot of names sound fairly similar, but I don't think Eileen is particularly difficult to remember. Apparently, I'm wrong about that, but at least it doesn't bother me. I know a couple of people who get pissed off if you misspell their names, let alone call them a different name entirely.

So, here's List #39....Names People Call Me Instead of Eileen

1. Ellen
2. Elaine
3. Irene
4. Aileen
5. Arlene
6. Colleen
7. Maureen
8. Erin

Things You Don't Necessarily Want to Hear From the Stranger with Whom You Are Sharing a Lane at the Pool

"I like your tattoo. It is very sexy."

The fact that the above was said to me by a female teenager from Japan make the incident more unusual than creepy, but still!

McSweeny's Open Letters

My roommate Ern recently introduced me to McSweeny's series of Open Letters To People Or Entities Who Are Unlikely To Respond. They are absolute genius. I can't believe I had never come across these before. The titles themselves are perhaps the best part; scroll down to the bottom of the current letter to read the list.

I read through several, and so far, my favorite is An Open Letter To Lifetime Television For Women.
I was also highly amused by An Open Letter To Shirley MacLaine From A Former 11-Year-Old Who Was Sent To Her Apartment By George McGovern's Presidential Campaign in 1972.

I did notice multiple people writing open letters to their cats, complaining about various feline transgressions. If I ever wrote an open letter, it would go something like this:

An Open Letter To People Who Write Open Letters To Their Cats

Dear Unhappy Cat Owners,

There's an easy solution to your problems. Don't own a cat.

From,
Eileen

It would be longer, though. And don't get all riled up, cat owners. I like cats. But there's a reason why no one has written an open letter to his or her dog.

Weekend Report

I had a very busy past few days. I went to a couple of birthday parties, saw a concert (Rustic Overtones, a late-90's sounding jam band from Maine- they were great live), hung out with the nieces in Cambridge, and went to the Red Sox Patriots' Day game. Here are a few photos:

Rustic Overtones at the Paradise:

Eating noodles, riding the bus, and making friends in Cambridge:

And enjoying a sunny day (and fantastic seats) at Fenway Park:

Happy Patriots' Day!

Today is Patriots' Day, also known as Marathon Monday here in Massachusetts.

The holiday marks anniversary of the Battle of Lexington and Concord and the start of the Revolutionary War. I had no idea that it wasn't a national holiday until my freshman year of college.

I'll be celebrating our country's freedom by going to the Red Sox game, drinking beers, and cheering on the runners.

PILF (I can't believe I just typed that.)

Is it wrong to think that the pope's assistant is sort of....um...hot?

Probably.

Turns out I'm not alone...according to this article on CNN.com, Monsignor Georg Gänswein is known as "Gorgeous George" by the Italian press and has inspired a clothing line by designer Donatella Versace.

Book Review: Saturday, by Ian McEwan

I just finished the novel Saturday, by Ian McEwan. I thoroughly enjoyed his earlier Atonement, an epic tale of love, crime, and betrayal set in wartime England, but Saturday shares almost nothing with the prior work. The entire story takes place in one day, a Saturday, in the life of the protagonist Henry Perowne. Perowne is a successful London neurosurgeon, married to a beautiful lawyer and father of two accomplished children, a blues musician for a son and a published poet for a daughter. His life is a happy, serene one whose only blights are the senility of his mother and the caustic manner of his father-in-law. A traffic accident eventually escalates into a dangerous confrontation that threatens to turn his dream life into a nightmare. (Not a spoiler... it's described on the back of the book.)

I won't delve any further into the plot, but I will share some personal observations about the book. I enjoyed it, but felt distinctly underwhelmed. As a reader, I have one very strong (and narcissistic) bias: if I can't relate to any of the characters, I have trouble really liking a book. In Saturday, Henry Perowne is THE character- all others are defined by how they are related to him and described through his eyes. And, frankly, he's sort of dull. Intelligent, successful, loyal, but maybe too aloofly perfect, and therefore lacking in depth. The modern setting, with anxiety about the upcoming Iraq War lurking in the background, doesn't add much to the book, either. I did enjoy the medical descriptions and felt sort of gleeful stumbling upon references to RNA interference and CAG repeats, but they couldn't help but strike me as a bit cloying, in a Famous Author Understands Science! kind of way. The foreshadowing was laid on thickly, and I became a little impatient waiting for the big conflict to finally occur. However, there was one little plot surprise that I didn't forsee, so that spiced things up a bit. I think Saturday also suffered from being the book I read after Midnight's Children. McEwan's certainly a talented writer, but the language and images in Saturday pale in comparison to Rushdie's comical, elegant, and imaginative prose. I don't mean to sound overly negative- I did like the book, but if you haven't read anything by McEwan, I'd definitely recommend Atonement over Saturday.

Your Birthday Song

Look here to find out Billboard's #1 song on any given date.

So, what song topped the charts on the day you were born? Leave your answer in the comments. The best result (as in, the one that I think is the funniest) will win a prize.

My birthday song? "Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band" by Meco.
It appears that I was destined for a life of nerdiness.

For Sale: Black Keys

I have two tickets to see The Black Keys at the Orpheum on Saturday, May 17th. However, I will be down the cape at a bachelorette party that weekend, so I can't make the show.

The tickets are $35 each and the seats are pretty good (orchestra level). I put them on craigslist but thought I'd mention it here in case anyone is interested. I'm bummed out about missing them- apparently they put on a great live show.

Not your typical European vacation

My friend Lisa and several other teachers are currently accompanying a group of 23 Boston high school seniors on a trip to Europe as part of the Facing History program:

Facing History is a curriculum that teaches students about racism and prejudice through the lenses of the holocaust and other examples of genocide. Using empathy as a guiding theme, the program examines human suffering through history and around the globe, so that we might avoid such events in the future.

During the 2007-2008 school year, 24 high school seniors studied the Facing History curriculum at TechBoston Academy, a Boston Public High School located in Dorchester, Mass. The trip to Europe is the culminating project for the class. The trip will include visits to concentration camps such as Dachau and Auschwitz, and will include a visit to Nuremburg and Checkpoint Charlie. Also, for the first time this year, we will include a trip to Paris at the end of our journey where students will have the opportunity to meet survivors of the camps we have just seen for a question and answer session. Students will learn about the history of World War II, the holocaust, and discuss real-world examples of genocide happening today in other parts of the world.

And yes, they're blogging about it. I think it's a really cool program and a great opportunity for the students, many of whom come from low-income families.

I just thought I'd pass along the link for those of you who might be interested in following along. Most of the media coverage of our local school systems focuses on the negatives, so we tend to forget about the positives. Plus, I wanted to bump the mansy down the page a bit.

The Mansy

Did anyone else notice a certain full page ad in the last issue of the Improper Bostonian? Let me refresh your memory- it was for a male one-piece yoga suit named The Mansy:


The Mansy was the talk of the workplace all last week. Laughs were had, jokes were made, and photoshop pranks were threatened. The Mansy was deemed both ridiculous and obscene.

Then, I read the fine print: "Available in limited quantities, April 1st."

The Mansy was an April Fool's joke! Turns out Lululemon is a Canadian apparel company that makes yoga gear for people who shop at Whole Foods and drive hybrids. (I only mock them because I don't have enough money to be them.)

Well played, Lululemon. You may have outdone my Ryan Seacrest story.

New Blog

My friend Phil started a blog about beer: Beer Crusade.

Oh great, now I'm thirsty.

Weekend Report

Friday- Went out for drinks at the Hill for a friend's birthday. Saw the World's Saddest Birthday Cake. Discovered Celtics themed beer bottles. Fun.

Saturday- The BU employment office posts Quickie Jobs, which, despite the suggestive name, do not generally involve hanky-panky, but rather encompass things like party help and moving heavy objects. I took a job on Saturday to cater at a Bar Mitzvah. I got to the temple at 7AM and spent the next eight hours prepping food, arranging platters, washing dishes, and cleaning, and was paid a decent sum of money plus about three dozen leftover bagels. Because my hometown has a sizable Jewish population, I went to a ton of bar and bat mitzvahs during my middle school years, and Saturday definitely brought back some memories: the girls were taller than the boys, and everyone had braces. Oh, and apparently I haven't been around large packs of 13-year old boys in quite some time, because I was stunned by how bad they were! Breaking things, taking bites of food and putting it back on platters, dropping stuff on the ground and not picking it up, pouring soap all over the floor of the bathroom, climbing on the roof, etc... Individually, they seemed like fairly nice kids, but once they banded together, watch out, it's hellion time.

Sunday- Met Kim, Mike, and Maya at Laurel to celebrate Kim's birthday (which is today...happy birthday!). I ordered the latkes with kielbasa and fried eggs- one cholesterol special, coming right up! I regretted it later. After that, I spent the day in the lab and then headed out to watch some of the Red Sox- Yankees game. You know that story about the construction worker from Boston who embedded a Red Sox jersey in concrete in the new Yankee Stadium? Well, I didn't believe a word of it....until I found out that the Yankees actually excavated it. Last night, I finally finished my taxes...I owe $205 to the feds, and I wish it were possible to just deduct that from my $600 rebate so I wouldn't owe anything. Alas, it isn't. In case you're interested, here's the schedule for when you can expect to receive your $600 economic stimulus payment.

Todays "links"

I have a love-hate relationship with typos. I hate them, yet I feel sort of giddy and elated whenever I find one. A friend's sister has a blog devoted to typos, grammatical errors, and all sorts of odd signage: Pedestrian Typography.

A related "phenomenon" that I "flat-out" hate is the unnecessary use of "quotation" marks. For this reason, I can't remotely handle Zagat's restaurant guides. However, the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks is truly a marvelous creation.

Update: Ahhhh! They're everywhere! And what do you think they mean by "time?"

Don't you hate it when

you pack a lunch to take to work and then you leave it on the kitchen counter?


AAARGH!


I do this at least once a month.


On a more positive note, here are some things I've been enjoying lately:


1. Yesterday's warm weather! Yes, folks, it was the first time in 165 days that the temperature in Boston reached 70 degrees.


2. Sandwiches. They really do taste better when someone else makes them. If you're ever in the South End around lunchtime, check out Francesca's on Tremont Street. I had a sandwich there last weekend, and it seriously was the best thing I've eaten in months. Although they get points off for not having a website. What the fuck? I tried to call ahead and order something from this menu, but I asked for something that isn't offered anymore. "Are you looking at a menu from The Internet?" the girl asked me "Those are really out of date." I have a solution for you: put up a frickin website, already! It's a trendy South End cafe, not some mom and pop House of Pizza- they really have no excuse. If my grilled bread smothered in pesto with fresh tomatoes, prosciutto, and grilled chicken wasn't so darned mouth-watering, the no website thing would have landed them on my blacklist.

3. Dirty martinis. Even though I like olives and I like gin, I never really got into martinis. Until someone (um, a bartender) had the bright idea to pour a bunch of salty, delicious olive brine into one and hand it to me. Yum!