Tuesday, December 11, 2007

New Neighbor Letdown

You know when you're a kid, and a "SOLD" sign replaces the "For Sale" sign in the neighbor's yard, and you get all excited imagining who is going to move in? Okay, maybe not all kids did this, but I sure did. Maybe they'll have kids my age to play with! Maybe we'll be allowed to sled in their backyard! Maybe they'll have an Atari and be allowed to eat sugary cereal and when I go over their house it will be awesome! Maybe they'll build a pool and let everyone in the neighborhood use it! Even if they don't have a kid, maybe they'll have a puppy that they'll let me watch when they go on vacation!

Inevitably, the new neighbors turned out to be childless, puppyless, and poolless retirees.

I feel a similar burst of anticipation when a new business moves into my neighborhood. Maybe it will be a delicious burrito place! Maybe a cute and affordable clothing boutique! Or a bookstore!

Over the past couple of years, not one, but two 7-11s have opened up on my street. (BO-ring. We already had a Store 24.) Last week, the signs for a new store went up....and.....it's.....Edible Arrangements. Maybe they should rename it Inevitable Sighs of Disappointment. Because when am I going to want to an purchase an expensive decorative container filled with fruit, cut into shapes and skewered? I'll tell you when. NEVER.


Rob said...

I've never been able to figure out The Sugary Cereal Paradigm.

Science Fact: Growing up, no one's parents ever let them have sugary cereal.

Science Fact: Growing up, all of our friends' parents let them (and you) have sugary cereal when you slept over their place.

That being said - WHERE DID THE SUGARY CEREAL COME FROM? If no one's parents actually bought Cinnamon Toast Crunch ... then how did three bowls of it end up in my belly every time I went to Mark Dillon's house??

ek said...

i'm bringing edible arrangements to anything you host from now on. green pinapple for st. patty's day? why yes, your friendly neighbor can handle that.

btw, rob, best comment ever.

Kevin said...

Fine Eileen, I won't give you the "All I Want for Christmas is Fruit" and "Starry Sleighride" arrangements that I was to planning to give you for Christmas!

I had never heard of this business before. Is your neighborhood now so yuppy that this would work?

eileen said...

Wait, so you mean all of my friends' cabinents WEREN'T permanently stocked with Fruity Pebbles and Frosted Flakes? That's impossible!

Kev- Southie's not that yuppie; there's one in the Ham, too. I think they're planning to do a delivery service for office parties downtown.

Rob said...

Your friends' cabinets WERE stocked with sugary cereal ... but their parents could not have purchased it, because no one's parents ever let them eat sugary cereal.

So how did it get there? Two words: ninja gnomes.

bigglesworth said...

an edible arrangements opened near my house recently too -- i actually think the idea is cool (so suck it, eileeno:) just kidding - about sucking it, i do think it's a cool idea). however, did you even get past the idea to look at some of the prices? shit. guess i'll be making my own edible arrangements ... wait, i already do — every time i go to the bathroom.

eileen said...

Buddes, I'm not a fruit hater (unlike some people we know) but those prices are crazy! and the fruit is already peeled and cut up, so it's not like you can save it for later.