Friday, February 09, 2007

An unfortunate bet

Have you heard about the Bears fan who promised to change his name to Peyton Manning if the Bears lost the Superbowl? Well, he did it. Talk about adding insult to injury. So awful! Poor bastard.

In other NFL news, my friend Buddah (It's a nickname, people. A while ago, I told a story about "my friend Buddah" to a new coworker, and he later confessed that he thought that I was a Buddhist referring to this guy, the way a born-again Christian might talk about "my friend Jesus.") is a reporter for the Army newspaper in Hawaii and has a press pass for the upcoming NFL Pro Bowl. He asked me if I wanted any autographs, and since I'm not much of an autograph hound, I requested a photo of his hand on Tom Brady's butt. And if Brady isn't there, it will have to be Belichick.

Anyways, back to betting. The most memorable bet I ever lost took place during college. For some reason, I was under the impression that Rob Lowe played the brother in the classic television series Mr. Belvedere. No one believed me. Mind you, this occurred in the time before cell phones, when the internet was a novel phenomenon, and no one had heard of Google, much less IMDB. Thus, it was practically impossible to verify my claim. The more everyone objected, the more adamant I became that I was, indeed, correct. Any small seed of doubt in my mind had long been erased. (For this reason, if it wasn't for the Catholic guilt, I would make a pretty good criminal. I could proclaim my innocence with such fervor that I myself become convinced.) Weeks later, someone happened to flip through a TV guide, and noticed that Mr. Belvedere, suprisingly, still aired weekly on a local cable station. Plans were laid. Bets were made. On that fateful day, a crowd of about fifteen dormmates huddled around the TV in the lounge. My palms were sweaty, my heart beat rapidly, but nevertheless, I was convinced that victory would be mine. The opening theme began....the credits flashed on the screen....Christopher Hewett.....
Ilene Graff....and...wait for it...

Rob Stone.

NOOOOOOOOOOO! The room erupted in cheers. I hid my face in my hands to hide the shame and agony of defeat. For losing, I think I had to buy everyone pizza or something inocuous like that. Well, at least I didn't have to change my name to Peyton Manning.


brigita said...

Bets I've lost:
* That the word epoch was pronounced ee-POCK.
Penalty: General embarassment.
* Drinking a gallon of water in half an hour.
Penalty: I was all-time Frenchie (long story).

ern said...

2 things:
1) i just bet eileen innocuous was spelled with two "n"s. i won.
2) i bet my friends in college i could eat a big tub of fluff - -
in one sitting.
i lost big time. good news: puked up fluff looks the same as regular fluff. bad news: i puked up a tub of fluff. ew.