Since I've recently curtailed most of my blogworthy activities, I've decided to delve into the past for new posting material. Every Sunday, I'll share a story about a hilarious, bizarre, or otherwise memorable incident. Obviously, I can't compete with Dave Secretary, but we'll start out this with a bang:
The Strangest Thing I've Ever Seen
I spent a little over two years of my life as a Peace Corps volunteer in rural Nicaragua, during which time I saw a lot of crazy-ass shit. The following may have been the most shocking incident of them all.
One day, I'm at home with my host family, and the five year old grandson, Wilder, has something in his eye. A piece of dust, or something, and it's scratching and irritating him. He complains to his grandmother Chila, who instantly comes up with a remedy: we need to "echar una leche," the literal translation being "pour some milk." Sure, yeah, pour some milk. I don't really get what she means, but it sounds innocuous enough. They're going over to Rosa's house so she can echar una leche. Do I want to come? Curious, I decide to tag along. Wilder, meanwhile, doesn't look so thrilled about the plan. He knows what echar una leche means, and he wants no part of it. We tromp over to visit the neighbor Rosa, a big, loud, buxom woman who had a baby a couple of months prior.
Chila explains the purpose of our visit: Wilder has something in his eye and could you please echar una leche?
I still have no idea what is going on.
Rosa: "Ven, niño, y te voy a enseñar la teta!" Translation: "Come here, boy, and I'm going to show you my titty!"
Wilder: looks terrified and starts crying.
Next thing you know, Chila grabs Wilder, drags him over to Rosa, who promptly lifts up her shirt and squirts breast milk in his eye.
Echar una leche. So that's what it means.