The Southie Beach Diet

Envious of that pasty, sunburned glow you've seen on the patrons of the South Boston beachfront, a.k.a. the Irish Riviera? Time to try the Southie Beach Diet. For liquids, only beer, iced coffee, Diet Coke, and an occasional glass of water are allowed. As for a source of carbohydrate, we recommend the potato, in all of its varied forms: sweet or regular, mashed, fried, chipped, or saladed. Preferred sources of protein include peanut butter, hot dogs, and fried clams. Fruits, vegetables, and sunscreen? Use sparingly.