Thursday, June 07, 2007

List #35....My Brilliant Money-Making Ideas

Okay, everyone, I probably shouldn't share these with the internets, but over the years, I've come up with several Brilliant Ideas. They may seem a bit far fetched, and one is entirely illegal, but all four have success written all over them.

1. Dunkin' Donuts Coffee Table Book. I will take candid photos all over Boston of Bostonians drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Construction workers, businesswomen, students, policemen, you name it. I will then assemble the photos into a coffee table book. Think about it- wouldn't you buy this? I would. Either for myself of for another Starbucks eschewer. It would make a great gift. I bet Dunkin' Donuts would even sponsor this idea.

2. Dead Umbrella Coffee Table Book. Have you even noticed that after a windy rainstorm, the city is often littered with damaged umbrellas? Torn fabric, spokes akimbo, tossed by the wayside by their frustrated former owners. I don't know why, but I love them. I have already begun photographing them. This isn't quite the shoe-in as the DD book, but I bet I'm not the only one who finds amusement in dead umbrellas. Or maybe I'm alone here?

3. Motorcycle Thievery. I've always wondered why motorcycles don't get stolen more frequently. Here's my scheme. I'll buy a big old moving truck and hire a crew of burly men. It'll be a grab and run operation- we'll strike under cover of darkness, driving around the city and snatching up motorcycles, loading them into the back of the truck. Then, we'll drive a couple of states away and sell them on the black market. Assuming that there is a black market for motorcycles. Guaranteed money-maker.

4. Baseball Cultural Liaison. The Red Sox have a lot of players from Latin American countries on their roster. Shouldn't they hire someone to help new players with the transition to Boston? ....someone who speaks Spanish.....someone who is from the area.....hey, I know someone who would be perfect for the job. Me! I could act as a translator/guide/assistant. I've always thought that the whole "Manny being Manny" thing stems from the fact that he doesn't seem to be completely comfortable speaking English, and what is sometimes interpreted as goofiness and spaciness is actually more like shyness. I could help him out with that. "Don't listen to SeƱor Shaughnessy, Manny!" Maybe I should work on my Japanese to improve my versatility.

Don't even think of stealing my ideas, dear readers, and if you ever hear about a rash of motorcycle thefts in the Hub, well, mum's the word.

13 comments:

Christopher said...

As a motorcycle rider, I do not like #3. Some motorcycles cost more than cars!

Megr said...

I've always wonder the same things about motorcylces. I don't understand, they are just sitting there yet a camry will be parked next door and theives will steal that.

Maria said...

My mom's motorcycle has an alarm system, it's pretty loud. So you might need an expert who knows how to disarm the alarm.

eileen said...

Hmmm, I didn't think about alarms. Maybe that's why they aren't stolen more often.

Frances said...

I find humor in the dead umbrellas as well. I think it's not so much the actual dead umbrella as it is knowing that someone out there got so sick of it that they would rather walk in the rain than to keep fighting a faulty umbrella.

Tricia said...

Motorcycles are also really really heavy. I've always wondered about that too, though.

I think #1 is your best bet. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I've had the same idea about being a baseball cultural liaison. Johann Santana....here I come....

-Kara

Kim said...

You're right, the dead umbrella coffee book idea would be totally illegal.

RE: #3, you better hope you don't swipe any motorcycles with lojack!

Mrs. V said...

Eileen,
What is in your Wheaties??? Number 3 is such a bad idea, have you lost your mind? I'm telling your mother!!!

Yvonne in Atlanta on a v-rod Harley motorcycle.

eileen said...

Okay, okay, I won't really start the motorcycle theif gang, I promise!

Mike said...

Motorcycle Thievery is an excellent name for a band, though a terrible idea for a business.

I'd buy the DD coffee table book as gifts.

In other news, you are the top listing when you search for "motorcycle thievery" on Google.

eileen said...

DCOE: a blog about motorcycle thievery.

Walkie said...

I googled "brilliant money-making schemes" and your blog came up. I love #1 - the DD book idea is awesome! You should totally approach them with a prototype... not sure about getting permission from all the subjects though... I bet most people would agree if you told them the book is a pro-Boston, pro-DD thing, and that a portion of the proceeds will go toward charity.