I cooked dinner for three college friends last night, and made the following observations:
1. Thouroughly cleaning your apartment (as opposed to frantically shoving clutter into closets and under beds) makes it look a lot nicer.
2. Drinking a stiff cosmo before cooking is a Very Bad Idea, unless you like your broccoli burnt.
3. Adding the word "face" to any insult makes it ten times better. Examples: nerd face, douchebag face
4. The best way to prevent yourself from making ill-adivsed drunken phone calls is to delete the tempting number from your cell phone.
5. Nothing cures a hangover like a greasy bagel sandwich.