My roommate Ern recently introduced me to McSweeny's series of Open Letters To People Or Entities Who Are Unlikely To Respond. They are absolute genius. I can't believe I had never come across these before. The titles themselves are perhaps the best part; scroll down to the bottom of the current letter to read the list.
I read through several, and so far, my favorite is An Open Letter To Lifetime Television For Women.
I was also highly amused by An Open Letter To Shirley MacLaine From A Former 11-Year-Old Who Was Sent To Her Apartment By George McGovern's Presidential Campaign in 1972.
I did notice multiple people writing open letters to their cats, complaining about various feline transgressions. If I ever wrote an open letter, it would go something like this:
An Open Letter To People Who Write Open Letters To Their Cats
Dear Unhappy Cat Owners,
There's an easy solution to your problems. Don't own a cat.
From,
Eileen
It would be longer, though. And don't get all riled up, cat owners. I like cats. But there's a reason why no one has written an open letter to his or her dog.
6 comments:
This one is, by far, the best one:
"AN OPEN LETTER TO JAMES RANDI REGARDING HIS "ONE MILLION DOLLAR PARANORMAL CHALLENGE."
July 10, 2006
Dear James Randi,
I am writing to you in regard to your offer of $1 million to anyone who can demonstrate, under proper conditions of scientific trial, paranormal abilities.
Delightfully, I have not only a love for the scientific method but also a demonstrable paranormal skill! I have the ability to control men's minds with my vagina...!"
I hadn't seen that one yet. Hilarious!
Dear Boomer,
Please stop drooling, escaping, and pining for me when I leave for work. I will come home to see you again, as I always have.
Well, there's a first time for everything.
I guess dogs can be nuisances as well. Boomer is a BAD DOG! BAD DOG!
Dear Erin,
Who said I was pinning for you? Its the parrots mocking me all day that I can't stand. woof.
Of course people don't write letters to their dogs. Dogs are too dumb to read.
(BURN!)
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