Thursday, April 24, 2008

McSweeny's Open Letters

My roommate Ern recently introduced me to McSweeny's series of Open Letters To People Or Entities Who Are Unlikely To Respond. They are absolute genius. I can't believe I had never come across these before. The titles themselves are perhaps the best part; scroll down to the bottom of the current letter to read the list.

I read through several, and so far, my favorite is An Open Letter To Lifetime Television For Women.
I was also highly amused by An Open Letter To Shirley MacLaine From A Former 11-Year-Old Who Was Sent To Her Apartment By George McGovern's Presidential Campaign in 1972.

I did notice multiple people writing open letters to their cats, complaining about various feline transgressions. If I ever wrote an open letter, it would go something like this:

An Open Letter To People Who Write Open Letters To Their Cats

Dear Unhappy Cat Owners,

There's an easy solution to your problems. Don't own a cat.


It would be longer, though. And don't get all riled up, cat owners. I like cats. But there's a reason why no one has written an open letter to his or her dog.


Vance said...

This one is, by far, the best one:


July 10, 2006

Dear James Randi,

I am writing to you in regard to your offer of $1 million to anyone who can demonstrate, under proper conditions of scientific trial, paranormal abilities.

Delightfully, I have not only a love for the scientific method but also a demonstrable paranormal skill! I have the ability to control men's minds with my vagina...!"

eileen said...

I hadn't seen that one yet. Hilarious!

Eri said...

Dear Boomer,

Please stop drooling, escaping, and pining for me when I leave for work. I will come home to see you again, as I always have.

eileen said...

Well, there's a first time for everything.
I guess dogs can be nuisances as well. Boomer is a BAD DOG! BAD DOG!

Boomer said...

Dear Erin,

Who said I was pinning for you? Its the parrots mocking me all day that I can't stand. woof.

Kris said...

Of course people don't write letters to their dogs. Dogs are too dumb to read.