1. Got my passport photos taken, and my personal tradition of downright awful headshots continues. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I really do take terrible headshots. I've had the following conversation about 100 times:
Bouncer/Person Examining My ID: "Wow, you must have lost a lot of
weight since this photo was taken. Congratulations!"
Me: "No, I just look fat in pictures."
This one might be the worst yet. I look like a fat, crazed, IRA member.
2. Attempted to replace the burned out taillight in my car. Naturally, I couldn't remember which one was burned out, and something that can be easily discerned by two people (one presses on brake pedal, other stands behind car and watches), but is much more difficult as a one-person job. After unsuccessfully using a heavy book and a giant bag of peat moss in an attempt to hold the pedal down, I eventually resorted to accosting two women out on a power walk at lunch. They looked frightened when I ran down the driveway and called out "Would you please do me a small favor?" but complied nonetheless. I was determined to replace them myself, so I looked up the part number and the instructions in the manual. Then, off to the auto parts store, where I bought the replacement bulbs. I was quite proud of myself when I finished the job, even though a rusted screw snapped in the process. However, when I tested out the light, the blinker wasn't working properly.
3. Got my car inspected. Showed the mechanic the light, and he chided me for not having a professional take care of it, then charged me $25. Next, they wouldn't pass my car because of a loose front wheel or some nonsense, so I had to pay another hundred bucks to get that fixed. It took a few hours, during which I wandered around downtown Framingham and eventually ended up getting a pedicure and watching Family Feud with two Vietnamese ladies to pass the time.
4. Yankees swept the Sox. I need to come clean. This was all my fault. Earlier this week, a friend had forwarded me an Onion article about the Yankees, and I responded with this line "The series is meaningless unless the Yankees sweep."
He immediately wrote back- "You idiot! What have you done?" The baseball gods have smited me. THE SOX GOT SWEPT AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT BECAUSE I TOTALLY JINXED THEM. And I'm sorry.