Friday, August 03, 2007

My tribute to Uta Pippig

So, a really embarrassing thing happened to me last weekend, and the shame has faded enough for me to post about it. Last Saturday, I played in an all-day soccer tournament, and late in the afternoon, we got caught in an intense thunderstorm. Sheets of rain, no shelter to be found. When I drove home after the game, I was absolutely soaked- the equivalent as if I had jumped in a swimming pool with all of my clothes on. Therefore, the upholstery seats of my stylish minivan because similarily soggy. Cut to a couple of hours later. After a showering, I threw on a tank top and a pair of light grey shorts and decided to run a bunch of errands. I hopped in the car, went to the drugstore, the bank, and finally stopped at Target to do some shopping. I went in the dressing room to try on a t-shirt, and caught a glimpse of my backside in the mirror. You see, the driver's seat in the car was still wet when I sat down on it, and to make matters worse, it has been very dusty before it go wet, so this was no ordinary stain. I had been walking around for hours with a gigantic, dark brown wet spot on my ass. It appeared as if I had suffered the worst kind of accident, the kind that might stem from eating an entire tub of olestra. Oh yes, it looked exactly as if I had crapped my pants.

Gah! I was mortified, and my first instinct was to drop everything and sprint immediately out of the store. I then decided that particular option would draw even more attention to myself. Instead, I opted to purchase the t-shirt and tucked it in to back of my shorts to cover up my brown badge of courage, and slinked my way up to the register.

The end.

Have a great weekend, everyone!


Frances said...

That would suck so bad! I am sooooo sorry for you!

Tina said...

It could have been could have been anal leakage.