If hell exists, I will most likely be headed there, due to a long resume of sins and general wickedness, like the fact that I laughed at this cartoon of Howard Stern pranking a mentally disabled guy. This morning, I went to the dentist, and let's just say that it was a most unpleasant experience. I was getting a filling, and the metal clamp they put around my tooth was digging into the roof of my mouth and it hurt like a biatch. After four times of the dentist readjusting it, then asking, "Does it still hurt?" and me saying "aarrhhhlgu," which meant yes, I decided that I was just going to try to suck it up and deal with the pain, because maybe I'd eventually get used to it. I do have a fairly high tolerance for pain, as evidenced by things like my walking around with a broken finger for a few days before I decide it probably shouldn't still be that color and pointing in that direction, then I go to the doctor who tells me that it's broken and I shouldn't have waited so long. Four crooked fingers later, I finally realized that I was too clumsy for basketball. Back to the dentist....so I was doing my best grinning and bearing, but tears started streaming out of the corners of my eyes and running down my face, and the poor dentist was horrified and took off the dreadful apparatus and hit me up with some more novocaine. It helped, but only a little, and I started thinking about my own personal hell, and how it would definitely include dental work. What else would it be like?
- everyone would be skiing, all of the time
- there would be no Dunkin Donuts, only Starbucks
- abundant prolonged awkward silences
- Jennifer Love Hewitt would be there
- my pants would always be a tad too short
- a constant migraine (honestly, I cannot think of anything worse)
If I do end up in hell, I hope that it is of the generic fire and brimstone and demons variety.