Here's a silly little time-waster. Run a Google search on "(Your first name) needs" and see what pops up. Here are a few of mine:
Eileen needs a new guitar for her daughter.
Eileen needs to incorporate five portions of fruit into her diet.
Eileen needs someone to run to when they call out, "Eileen!"
Eileen needs to come to terms with her missing husband.
Eileen needs a pseudo husband for her high-school reunion.
Eileen needs a hot coffee.
Eileen needs to know about this swamp ass.
Eileen needs a thousand dollars because she and her husband are trying to flee to Mexico.
What Eileen really needs is to stop goofing around on the internet and start working on her thesis. Although I am curious about that swamp ass.