Monday, March 13, 2006

Drained

is exactly how I feel right now. I had a very busy weekend (work dinner party, soccer game, bridal shower, etc...) on top of the stress and last-minute preparations for today's seminar and thesis committee meeting. Let's just say I'm batting 0.500. The seminar went well, although I did use the word "experimentating" once, and flubbed a couple of questions, like when someone in the audience asked me if my bacterial strains were isogenic.
Isogenic...isogenic...isogenic, I know I should know what this word means, but for the life of me, I can't remember. ..."What exactly do you mean by that?" Translation: I have no fucking idea what isogenic means. Turns out it means "on the same genetic background," so I actually did know the answer to the question. Aside from those minor glitches, the seminar went well and I got lots of questions at the end, which is generally a good sign that people were listening and at least somewhat interested in what you were saying. As for the committee meeting, it didn't go so well. For the past few months, I've been nagged by feelings that my project isn't going anywhere, that I'm never going to publish anything, and that I'm never going to graduate. Part of me thought I was just being pessimistic and paranoid. Unfortunately, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that your thesis project isn't a total disaster. My committee basically told me that they are worried that my project isn't going anywhere, that I'm never going to publish anything, and that I'm going to be stuck in grad school for years and years. Ouch. I think I need a glass of wine and a long, hot shower. As for the housesitting gig, so far, I have no plans to move out to the sticks anytime soon, but it hasn't been so bad. Life's a lot less lonely when you have an entourage of three animals who follow you room to room.

3 comments:

Tricia said...

So I know nothing about your project, but perhaps your committee's comments are based on your presentation, which reflected your current state of mind, rather than the actual potential of your research. Just a thought.

I'm glad that you have some animal therapy going on. Pets are the best (when they're not waking you up in the middle of the night or making gross messes for you to clean up).

eileen said...

Hmmm... I wish that were true, but I think their concerns are legitimate. Well, better to address any flaws now than two or three years down the road. Thanks for the optimism, though :)

Mrs. V said...

Hopefully they offered some suggestions. From what I hear other PhD candidates comment (or maybe it's the PhD's who offer suggestions to the PhD candidates) that you should have more than one project you are developing so if one doesn't work out all is not lost. I've heard it say having three projects is a good idea.