Tuesday, November 14, 2006

List #31...Words That Confused Me as a Child

In (belated) honor of Veterans' Day, here are some words that I had severely mixed up when I was younger.

1. veterans and veterinarians: I spent the majority of elementary school believing Nov. 11 was some strange holiday to celebrate pet doctors.

2. tornados and tomatoes: I understood that these were two entirely different things, but for some reason, I assumed that tornados were red like tomatoes, and never believed that news images of tornadoes were real because the tornadoes were not red.

3. Jack Nicholson and Jack Nicklaus. Definitely thought that they were one person- and actor who was also quite good at golf. Although later dispelled, this notion was supported by Jack Nicholson's arrest for smashing a guy's windsheild with a gold club. Obviously, a golf club would be the weapon of choice for an irate actor/golfer.

4. avocados and iguana eggs. For unknown reasons, I believed that avocados were iguana eggs and refused to eat them for years. Laugh all you want, but seriously, don't they look a tad reptilian?

5. grilled cheese sandwich and girl cheese sandwich. Blame this one on my older sister, who capitalized on my initial confusing by frequently threatening to kill me and put me in a girl cheese sandwich. She also told me I was adopted. Thanks, Kerry!

6. subtle and suttle. I know now that suttle is not an actual word, but I thought that the "b" was pronounced in subtle, and suttle was a different word that meant the exact same thing. I discovered that this was false when I read an essay out loud to my English class in 12th grade and used the word subtle, you know, the one with the "b."

7 comments:

briana said...

Hey Eileen- This is great! Avocados totally look like iguana eggs! except for the size, though, that might suggest a slightly larger reptile, like maybe a komodo dragon...

jayniek said...

this is the most wonderful post i have read in a good while.

speaking of reading aloud, i had a friend in high school who read her report aloud and told us all about the CHAA--HOES (aka "chaos" of the narrative...
"K-OSS" was obviously something very different.

Mrs. V said...

We could go on and on with this one. I read out loud in elementary school and came to 'etc' and without even knowing what it stood for nor what etcetera meant I pronounced it 'ec-ke-te' like a three-syllable word. Everyone laughed....how did they know what etc. meant, anyway?

Our family favorite is when Carmen said her favorite car was the 'ren-dev-us' and that she did not know why she had to study 'sew-crates' in Philosophy class, who was Socrates anyway?

eileen said...

CHA-HOES. I am dying. In a fit of laughter.

Kelly said...

my sister's son once told her this before lunch - "I don't want GIRL cheese anymore - I was BOY cheese!" ;) You are not alone...

Frances said...

My husband's name is Drew. One day in class I was reviewing vocabulary with my fifth graders and asked them if anyone could remember the meaning of withdrew. Silence. Finally a student raised her hand and totally seriously said "I think it means that they were with your husband?"

This was the funniest post I have read in a LONG time. Thanks Eileen! I needed that today!

eileen said...

Boy cheese sandwich? With-Drew? These are killing me! Oh, I remembered another more recent blunder of mine: mazel tov cocktail.