Reviews: Intuition (book) and Fight Club (movie)

Intuition, by Allegra Goodman is a fictional drama set in a laboratory at a research institute in Cambridge, MA. In a lab run by two PIs (Principal Investigators, a.k.a bosses) with contrasting styles, post-doc Cliff has some exciting new results: a recombinant virus he created has been curing tumors in cancerous mice. The ambitious and political boss, Sandy Glass, convinces his normally more cautious and meticulous co-director, Marion Mendelssohn, to publicize the results before they have been rigorously tested and confirmed. Robin, Cliff's ex-girlfriend and a fellow post-doc, suspects that Cliff's data are too good to be true, and her intuition eventually spirals into a full-fledged fraud investigation. I enjoyed reading this book, particularly because the author accurately captures the trials and tribulations of academic research: high stress, long hours, and low pay. The story reminds me of one of my boss' favorite, albeit very cynical, jokes.

Q. Why do academics fight so bitterly?
A. Because the stakes are so low.

It's funny because it's true. Science life ain't all that bad, though, and Intuition definitely focuses on the negative.

Fight Club. I have this strange two year gap in my knowledge of popular culture that coincides with the time I spent in Nicaragua. When I came back in late 2001, I was all "Why do all my friends have cell phones now?" and "Who's Moby?" I also missed the boat on some major motion pictures, like The Matrix and Fight Club. Last night, I watched Fight Club for the first time, and I must be one of the few people left didn't know about the trick ending (which I won't reveal here in case there are more of you out there). So, what did I think? Overrated. First of all, it broke my cardinal rule of movies: they should not be over two hours long (the two worst culprits include The Aviator and Snore of the Rings). Secondly, it was too gimmicky- once the plot twist is revealed, it made the whole film seem sort of pointless. The acting was well done, but the plot didn't enthrall me, and neither did the characters (except for Brad Pitt during shirtless scenes). I'm normally all for gratuitous violence (a la Kill Bill), but here it was neither funny nor shocking, and therefore not particularly interesting. The solo fighting scenes with Edward Norton were a little ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, Fight Club wasn't that bad of a movie, but it just wasn't as good as it was hyped up to be.

Bank of America scores some brownie points

Along with thousands of other Massachusetts natives, I've ridden the BayBank to BankBoston to Fleet to Bank of America train, in which whatever bank I'm using gets bought up by a bigger bank every couple of years, and my account automatically switches over. I'm not a fan of Bank of America due to their lousy customer service and mysterious fees that occasionally appear, but since they have ATMs everywhere, that convenience makes up for their flaws. Anyways, here are a couple of programs B of A customers can take advantage of:

1. Museums on Us. During the month of May, show your B of A ATM or credit card and receive free admission for you and one guest at many nearby museums. Maybe I'll actually go to the Isabella Stuart Gardener museum for the first time.

2. Keep the Change. Sign up for this free service and every time you use your debit card, the amount you spend will be rounded to a dollar and the change deposited into your savings account. Those little increments can add up to significant savings, provided that you don't dip into your savings account during the last week of every month, like some people I know (i.e. ME).

Yikes

You may have heard about Stephen Colbert's controversial speech at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner last week. Essentially, he openly mocked the President, right to his face, in front of a hall filled with stunned journalists. Here's the video. I don't know exactly how I feel about it. Even though I can't stand Bush and think he's a terrible president, he is The President and therefore perhaps deserves some respect, for the position and what it represents if not for the man himself. And I can't stand awkward silences, and this video is so chock full of them, it's almost painful to watch. Colbert may have taken his satirical diatribe a little too far, but he did get some good lines in, like this one:

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday....no matter what happened Tuesday.

Well, I can say one thing about Stephen Colbert-the guy's definitely got cojones.

Weekend Report

Friday- Had some friends over for a Cinco De Mayo celebration. Mexican food and margaritas are two of my favorite entities, so I could not let the day pass uncelebrated. Mmmmmm.

Saturday- Went to a wedding reception for one of my sister's close friends and her husband. He's French and they were officially married last fall in France...twice: one functional (Visa paperwork), one ceremonial. They decided to have a third celebration stateside because so many of their friends and family were unable to make it to their first two weddings. It was a great time- a fun reception without all of the hullabaloo of an elaborate ceremony. No bridesmaids, no stuffy traditions, just a big old party with family, friends, food and drink in a beautiful location right on the waterfront in Boston. Jenny and her siblings got their parents a hotel room and took over the family's house in Framingham for the after-party. We had a blast, and the crowd was an eclectic mix of Framingham natives, Wake Forest alumni, Baptists, and French. I felt like I was seventeen again, staying up until the wee hours playing drinking games, and sleeping in my clothes on the living room floor, packed in a row with several other partygoers. And I ended up with two new pets, when, after a few glasses of wine, I decided to adopt the centerpieces. I give you Jenny and Nico (the humans), and Jenny and Nico (the fish):

Scary photo of the day

So, I go to the website of a company that manufactures products for scientific research, and what awaits me? An enormous picture of a bug-eyed child with a dirty face eating a watermelon. WTF? All I want to do is buy a kit to test bacterial membrane permeability. I have no desire to look at stock imagery of a cute kid, who isn't really cute, but creepily frightening. Also, this photo has nothing to do with the products sold by the company, unless they have some weird Children of the Watermelon thing going on. Promega, why can't you just put a double helix on your website like all of the other vendors?

In the news

Nerd alert! (via Freakgirl)

Vomit alert! Well, now if Leinart doesn't live up to the hype in the NFL, he can always blame it on a nasty case of herpes. (via Meg and Lisa...be sure to check out Lisa's new blog redesign.)

Corruption in the Big Dig. Six men have been arrested on charges that they sold faulty cement to the city and then falsified documents to cover it up. Hmmm...think this could have anything to do with the leaks in the tunnel?


Beloved children's book Where the Wild Things Are is being made into a movie. (via GitM)

Pet Peeve of the Day

People who don't believe you when you tell them that they called the wrong number.

Act I. My lab. The phone rings. Ring, ring!

Me: Hello?
Caller: Jocelyn Spagno, please.
Me: Wrong number.
Caller (huffily): How can this be the wrong number? They just told me this was her direct line! J-O-C-E-L
Me (interrupting): Sorry, definitely the wrong number.

The End.


P.S. I have Jocelyn Spagno locked in the closet and now no one will ever find her. Muwhahahaha.

List #25...Best Gym Class Games

1. Bean bags- playing with bean bags was kind of dull, but that bean bag song is oddly infectious..put it on your head and walk around the room...
2. Cargo net- loved it! Easy to climb, as opposed to the rope. I sucked at climbing the rope, and dreaded it.
3. Kickball
4. Whiffle ball
5. Capture the flag
6. Newcomb - I always thought it was spelled nucumb, or nuke 'em.
7. Floor hockey- The sticks we used had giant styrofoam heads on them. I was inexplicably good at gym floor hockey.
8. Dodgeball
9. The parachute. I FUCKING LOVED THE PARACHUTE. Everyone did. Kids went bananas for the parachute. They only brought it out like once a year, but it was the Best Day Ever.

Wicked good

Maria and I saw Wicked last night at the Opera House. Wicked is a musical based on the Gregory Maguire novel, which tells the story of what happened in Oz before the Dorothy arrived. Galinda, a ditzy and popular blonde, and Elphaba, an intelligent misfit with green skin, are college roommates who form an unlikely friendship. Over time, Elphaba becomes an activist against the Wizard's corrupt government and is therefore villified as the Wicked Witch of the West, whereas Galinda becomes Glinda the Good Witch, belevolent ambassador. Although the production is based on the novel, several changes were made in the plot and characters in order to better suit the story to the stage. Nessarose, Elphaba's sister, still plays a major role, but she is in a wheelchair instead of missing arms. Fiyero, the love interest, is a charming rich boy and not a mysterious tribal prince, but this change works well for the musical. One of the fun things about both the novel and the musical are the subtle but frequent allusions to the movie the Wizard of Oz. It's an interesting concept- taking a story so familiar to the audience and presenting it in an entirely different light. I can see why the musical has done so well: the characters were endearing, the music catchy, the lyrics witty, and the ending happy.

Here's what I've done so far this week

1. Spoke to one of my sister Kerry's classes about my Peace Corps experience. Kerry is a teacher at Framingham High School, our alma mater, and I go once a year to talk to her International Relations class. It's trippy to walk those same halls again, although most of my former teachers have retired- when I was in high school, almost all of our teachers were in their 50s and 60s, and there's been a ton of turnover since I graduated. I wonder how different the experience is for students who are taught primarily by teachers in their 20s and 30s. Probably not that different. High schoolers seem a lot younger and nicer than I remember them. I had a good time talking to Kerry's class- they acted like they were interested (the only thing better than a guest speaker is a movie, as far as I can remember) and asked lots of questions, my favorites being "So, what is the standard of living like in Nicaragua? Is it almost the same as in the US? Do people have computers in their homes and stuff?" (Ummm...not even close. Dirt floors, no indoor plumbing, etc) I also liked "Did you get hit on a lot?" (yes) and "What did you do for fun?" (I had to think for a minute to come up with a more appropriate answer than drank a lot of rum, partied at the disco, and smoked too many cigarettes).
2. Went to the Sox-Yankees game on Monday night. Johnny Damon was vehemently booed, the Sox won, and I had a blast, even though it was FREEZING. Damn this New England weather.
3. Got a cortisone injection in my heel. Didn't hurt nearly as bad as I had imagined that it would.
4. Attended a Boston Symphony Orchestra concert. My parents had a pair of tickets they weren't able to use, so Carolina and I pretended to be cultured for a night. They played a three part series: Schubert, Henze (a modern composer we hadn't heard of), and Brahms. We were proud of the fact that we were able to differentiate the three sections on sound alone.

Busy, busy, busy

I have a really busy week ahead of me, so posting may be a bit more sporadic than normal. On tap for tonight, Red Sox vs Yankees at Fenway park, and I'll be there, boooooooooing Johnny Damon and cheering for the return of catcher Doug Mirabelli.

Weekend Report

Friday- Attended a surprise going-away party at a local bowling alley. I hadn't been bowling in years, and it was a blast, and almost like entering a time warp. The decor and most of the clientele appeared to be twenty years behind the times, as evidenced by the rare sighting of a mohawk/mullet hybrid, circa 1986. By bowling, I mean candlepin bowling. It's just known as "bowling" by Massachusetts natives, whereas the other kind of bowling is referred to as "big ball bowling" or "cartoon bowling" because, like anvils and people cheering by clasping their hands together and silently raising them from one side of their head to the other, the type of bowling where the balls and big and heavy and you stick your fingers in them only exists in cartoons. I was stunned the first time I went bowling in Indiana: "Oh my gosh! Big ball bowling! It's real! Wow, the balls are so heavy! And you stick your fingers in the holes! Dirty!" To my dismay, the new, trendy bowling alleys that have popped up in downtown Boston over the past couple of years all offer big ball bowling instead of candlepin. I'm a big fan of regional cultural differences, be them accents, cuisine, or bowling styles in the United States, and am therefore personally opposed to the homogenization of bowling styles. Viva la candlepin.

Saturday- Went out to breakfast, swam at the gym, put in some face time at an NFL draft day party, and visited some friends and their brand new baby at the hospital. The proud new parents are from Spain, and I learned something new about Spanish baby clothing: in Spain, it's traditional to dress both boy and girl infants in a fancy gown called a faldon. The baby's grandmother had brought a whole set of faldones and traditional handmade outfits from Spain, and had a great time showing them to the visitors at the hospital. After visiting hours ended, I went home and watched Capote. I enjoyed it, especially because I had read In Cold Blood several years ago and was therefore familiar with the story and interested in how the movie would portray the relationship between Truman Capote and the killers he interviewed for his book. Philip Seymour Hoffman obviously excelled in the title role, and I was pleased to see both Chris Cooper and Catherine Keener in their supporting roles. It's strange to think that Harper Lee worked as Capote's assistant, considering that she is currently probably the more well-known of the two writers.

Sunday- Went to a bridal shower, then shopping. How very girly of me. I did have a grilled steak for dinner, though.

Recent Observations

I cooked dinner for three college friends last night, and made the following observations:

1. Thouroughly cleaning your apartment (as opposed to frantically shoving clutter into closets and under beds) makes it look a lot nicer.
2. Drinking a stiff cosmo before cooking is a Very Bad Idea, unless you like your broccoli burnt.
3. Adding the word "face" to any insult makes it ten times better. Examples: nerd face, douchebag face
4. The best way to prevent yourself from making ill-adivsed drunken phone calls is to delete the tempting number from your cell phone.
5. Nothing cures a hangover like a greasy bagel sandwich.

TGIF, everyone!

Snoop involved in airport brawl

Fellow representative of the LBC (yes, I was born in Long Beach) Snoop Dogg was arrested at Heathrow Airport on Wednesday after a few members of his entourage were denied entrance to the British Airways VIP lounge. Here's my favorite part of the article:

"There were all these huge 20-stone men smashing up display cabinets and throwing people around," said a Heathrow worker who witnessed the fracas. "I saw Snoop Dogg on the ground with four riot police trying to put him in handcuffs.

"His minders were throwing bottles of duty free at people. They were throwing people around like pillows. Then the police used pepper spray on them."

20-stone? Minders? Gotta love those wacky Brits.

Whorepresents

Check out this list of hilarious easily mispronouced domain names. Is it bad that the pervy name is the one I see first, and I have to think for a minute to figure out the real name?
For example: Lumbermansexchange = Lumbermans Exchange, not Lumberman Sex Change

via Freakgirl

He wears it well

Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon is sporting a mohawk. His new 'do is the result of a wager he made with fellow Sox youngster Kevin Youkilis.

Music Genome Project

I recently discovered Pandora.com, a free music site designed to introduce music lovers to bands they might like. You create a "radio station" by entering the names of one or more bands or songs you like, and the program searches a database for songs/artists deemed similar to your selection. So far, I made three stations, a Rolling Stones station, a Cure/Clash/David Bowie station, and a hipster station (Devotchka/Arcade Fire). The Stones station plays rock bands like Led Zeppelin and Pearl Jam, plus some other (new, I presume) bands I've never heard of. The other two stations play mostly music I'm unfamiliar with, but so far, I like most of it.

Water is wet

And Charlie Sheen uses drugs, gambles, and hires prostitutes. Normally, I'm above dishing out celebrity gossip (okay, that's a complete lie), but check out this doozy of a document (courtesy of The Smoking Gun) that Denise Richards filed during divorce proceedings. Or save yourself some time and just read the transcripts from the crazed phone calls. Yikes.

You're Beautiful

and not in that melodramatic James Blunt kinda way. Hannah the bulldog was named Most Beautiful Bulldog in the 27th annual Beautiful Bulldog competition.

Book Review: No Country For Old Men

My number one, all time favorite book is All the Pretty Horses, by Cormac McCarthy. Yes, it has a sissy title, and yes, it was made into a movie starring Penelope Cruz and Matt Damon (which I never saw- has anyone seen it?), but if you make fun of it for those reasons without reading it, fuck off, because it's an awesome book. (I know I sound defensive, but it's a sore spot.) I read all three novels in the Border Trilogy (All the Pretty Horses, The Crossing, and Cities of the Plain), all following male protagonists through Texas and Mexico during the 1940s and 1950s, and loved them all. I also read Blood Meridian, set during the Westward expansion during the 1840s, but it was too disturbingly violent for my tastes. Since McCarthy hasn't published anything since Cities of the Plain in 1998, I was eager to read his latest novel, No Country For Old Men, which came out last year. I was planning to wait until it came out in paperback, but I found a cheap used version for sale on amazon.com and purchased it.
No Country For Old Men lacks the rich language found in the Border Trilogy, but the setting is similar. It takes place along Texas and Mexican border, but in modern times. Llewelyn Moss is out hunting in the desert when he stumbles upon the remnants of a drug deal gone bad: dead bodies, shot up trucks, heroin, and a briefcase containing 2.4 million dollars in cash. He takes the money and runs, knowing full well that whoever the money belongs to will never cease looking for it. Sheriff Bell arrives on the scene, connects the dots, and figures out that local boy Llewelyn has no idea how much trouble he's in. The man hunting Llewelyn is pure evil, a cold-blooded killer who leaves a wake of death and destruction in his path. Bell aims to find Llewelyn before the killer does, and ponders his own life and the dark world that surrounds it during the pursuit. The novel is a bit confusing in the beginning, but once you figure out who the main players are, it is easy to follow. I liked it, not as much as the border trilogy, but far more than Blood Meridian. Rumor has it that No Country For Old Men is being made into a movie by the Coen brothers, of Fargo and O Brother Where Art Thou fame.

Let the sun shine in

This morning, I awoke to a strange glowing light outside my window. Was it a Japanese firefly squid? No, it was the sun, which hasn't shone its light in these parts for many a day. I was starting to feel like one of those eyeless cave-dwelling salamanders. Hey, that's two freaky animal links in one post.

Notre Dame nets top QB recruit

Jimmy Clausen, the high school quarterback from California that has college coaches drooling, has verbally committed to ND. Clausen chose Notre Dame because he believes that playing under coach Charlie Weis would best prepare him for a future in the NFL. He was also heavily recruited by USC, but one look at Pete Carroll's sissy website made him nauseous. Okay, that may not be true, but would Charlie Weis ever have a personal website whose sole purpose is do declare his own greatness? Of course not. Hey, Pete Carroll, talking about how awesome you are on your own website makes you look like a douchebag. Do you know who else brags about himself on his personal website? This guy.

Weekend Update

This weekend, I decided to pretend that I was 24 again, and kicked things off a day early by going out to 80s night at the Common Ground on Thursday night and dancing to the likes of Cyndi Lauper and ABBA. I had a blast, but staying out until 2:30AM on a school night probably isn't the wisest idea.

Friday- Eri's boyfriend Ryan was in town for a wedding, so we went and saw Thank You For Smoking, an entertaining movie starring Aaron Eckhart as Nick Naylor, a tobacco lobbyist. He feels no guilt or shame in his defense of cigarettes, and meets weekly with two friends, an alcohol lobbyist and a gun lobbyist, who refer to themselves as the MOD squad, for Merchants of Death. Despite the moral flexibility required for his profession, Naylor is a loving and caring father for his 12-year old son. Eckhart is perfect as the modern day anti-hero, and most of the other casting is excellent as well, with the exception of Katie Holmes as a reporter/seductress. I'm sorry, but Joey Potter just wouldn't use the F word. The movie is filled with cynicism and funny moments, and avoids a feel-good ending, which surprised me.
After the movie, Ryan and I went on a impromptu Southie pub crawl and eventually met up with a few of his friends and found ourselves drinking beers at Murphy's Law at 2AM.

Saturday- Since I still can't run and I'm bored with the stationary bike and elliptical at the gym, I decided to try a new form of exercise...swimming. I'm not a very strong swimmer (my normal stroke is a breaststoke-dog paddle hybrid), and I've never used the pool before. I was worried that I would inadvertently breach pool etiquette, so I decided to go on a Saturday afternoon when the gym is usually fairly empty. There were only a couple of other people in the pool, so I didn't have to share lanes and it minimized the number of people who saw me in my ridiculous new swim cap, which makes my head look tiny. I swam for about 45 minutes, varying the strokes, and felt satisfied with the workout, even though I can't do the flippy thing to turn around at the end of the lane. Saturday night, I went out to a karaoke bar for my friend Joe's birthday, and we sang I Got You Babe as a duet. What we lacked in talent we made up for in enthusiasm. The dance floor was packed with college kids grinding and making out. I felt too old and too sober for the scence, and only one of those two variables could be altered. A few $1.50 drafts largely increased my tolerance for the environment.

Sunday- I went swimming again, and now I'm in the lab writing this instead of doing actual work.

100 Unsexiest Men

The Boston Phoenix recently published a list of the 100 Unsexiest Men, with Gilbert Gottfried claiming the number one spot. Here's the list (I had trouble getting the original article). Some of the choices I agree with (Randy Johnson, Richard Simmons), most made me laugh (Art Garfunkel, Don Zimmer), and one I object to- Brad Pitt at #100?
Here's the Friday discussion topic- from the list, and you're not allowed to choose Brad Pitt, who would you do? And who would be your worst nightmare?
I pick Chevy Chase (#19)- he's a little old but not that bad, honestly.
My worst nightmare would be #43 David Gest (shudder), with Dick Vitale (#84) announcing play-by-play.

If George Foreman can have his own grill

can Larry Bird get his own vintage wine? Apparently, the answer is yes, with a California winery pairing up with the Celtics great to produce a line of wines known as Legends. Larry likes wine? Who knew? Personally, I think Bird is much more suited to produce a line of Budweiser, or even better, Rolling Rock...the green, the 33, it's a match made in marketing heaven.

Duke rape scandal continues

The Duke lacrosse rape scandal continues, with two players arrested and charged. Regardless of whether they are innocent or guilty, something bad happened at that party, and one thing sticks out in my mind. Based on my own reaction and that of several commenters on this blog- none of us were surprised. At elite universities like Duke, Notre Dame, and Wake Forest, male athletes (especially rich, white ones) get away with a lot. I thought this article on ESPN.com makes some good points- these athletes received all of the benefits of their status without the intense scrutiny of basketball or football programs. The warning signs, like 15 of 47 players having arrest records, were ignored the by the coach, the AD, and the administration.
The incident reminded of an unpleasant encounter my friend Teri and I had with a few hockey players at ND. At the end of a night out, we hopped in the same station wagon taxi as a group of hockey players and decided to share it to campus. The guys were drunk and incredibly obnoxious, insulting the cab driver, a black man who looked to be in his sixties, shouting things like "shine my shoes!" and singing "I don't want to grow up, I'm a taxi cab driver" at him. Teri and I were growing angrier and angrier; we could hardly even believe what we were witnessing. When the cab stopped to let the guys out, one of them leaned over and said goodnight to Teri and me. Teri replied "I am ashamed that I am associated with you by school." The floodgates opened- the guy was like "What???" confused and angry, his friends all started yelling at us, and then I started in with a tirade that went something like "You think you're better than everyone because you play hockey? You think you can just go around treating people like crap and that's okay? Well, it's not, and you're all f#$ing a#$holes!" Then they retorted with something intelligent like "you stupid ugly bitch" and I yelled "at least I'm not a f^$#ing racist!" More shouting, then the guys ended up mooning us as the cab drove off. Teri and I were furious. Guys like that, who think they're better than everyone else, and have never suffered any repercussions from unacceptable behavior, who get drunk and mean when they're in a group, are the kind of guys who would end up raping a stripper.

Book review: Three Junes

Apparently I am all about the reviews these days, which means I haven't done anything interesting so I have to fill in the void with books and movies. Anyways, I recently read Three Junes, by Julia Glass. The novel centers around a Scottish family and has three sections, each one detailing one summer over a ten year span. The first section centers on the father, Paul, on a trip to Greece following the death of his wife. The central (in both location and significance) section of the book chronicles the life of Fenno, the oldest son, the reserved gay owner of a bookstore in Manhattan. The last section features Fern, a young American woman whose life crosses paths with both the Scottish father and son. I really liked this book. It reminded me of The Corrections in how it switches points of view in different sections and realistically captures all of the struggles and emotions that come along with being part of a family. However, it wasn't nearly as dark. I prefer Three Junes to The Corrections, because due to my self-absorbed nature, I always prefer books where I can relate to the characters, when their thoughts and actions occasionally remind me of myself. I had nothing in common with any of the characters in The Corrections, whereas in Three Junes, I could see little bits of myself in Paul, Fenno, and Fern.

Movie Reviews

V for Vendetta. When is a terrorist not a terrorist? According to this movie, when said terrorist is fighting against a corrupt and brutal government. Based on Allan Moore's graphic novel, V for Vendetta is set in futuristic and fascist England, where a masked figure known as V fights against the oppressive government and is eventually joined by Evey, the young heroine played by Natalie Portman (with shaven head). Although the novel was written as a critique of Margaret Thatcher's England, the use of fear tactics to persuade citizens to surrender their individual freedoms and rights bears some resemblance to our current political climate. Hugo Weaving plays V in a role challenging because throughout the entire movie, his face is covered by a Guy Fawkes mask. Unlike a Batman mask, this mask covers the entire face, so it's sort of weird to hear him talk without seeing the lips move. James Purefoy was originally cast as V, but he quit because he hated wearing the mask so much. Overall, I really liked the movie- the characters were compelling and the story interesting. Some of the special effects during action scenes seemed a little silly, like they were just thrown in to please the Matrix fanboys in the audience.

A History of Violence. Viggo Mortensen (hot) plays Tom Stall, an upstanding family man who runs a diner in a small Indiana town. When the diner is held up by violent criminals, he jumps to the defense and ends up killing both men. After the news coverage, mobsters from Philadelphia show up on the scene, claiming that Tom is actually a former gangster who disappeared. Is it true? And if it is, does his family really want to know? In order to avoid spoilers, I'll just say that I enjoyed this movie. It's intense. The wife is the one put in the worst predicament by the situation, and Maria Bello does a great job in the role. Ashton Holmes also excels as the teenage son.

Could Tom Cruise get any weirder?

No. Please tell me that he's kidding, and that he's not really planning to eat the placenta. He is kidding, right? RIGHT?

Weekend Report

Friday- Went to a dinner party for Kim's birthday. Food + friends + wine + The Office on TiVo + more wine + karaoke = loads of fun.

Saturday- My friend Brian arrived in town for the marathon, and it was a beautiful day, so I decided to fire up the grill for the first time all year and invited a few friends over for swordfish kebabs. Afterwards, we headed out to the Cantab lounge to see Little Joe Cook, a.k.a the Nutman, a name reminiscent of both his short stature and his 1957 hit song "Peanuts." If you live in the Boston area and you've never seen him perform, I'd highly recommend it, and sooner rather than later, because the guy has got to be pushing eighty. The music is fun, the beers cheap, and the entertainment is, well, entertaining. The people-watching is also unparalleled, a prime example of which on Saturday night was a man in a polo shirt and spandex bike shorts who alternated between hitting on girls and dancing by himself on the dance floor. I've known about Little Joe Cook for years, because he lives right near my elementary school in Framingham and was often spotted cruising around in his yellow convertible with a NUTMAN vanity plate.

Sunday- Went for a jog with Brian, then had a big breakfast with MJ and Jamie. We had a traditional Easter Dinner at my parents house, where I got busted for skipping church and probably caused some initial confusion when I showed up with a married guy. Sunday night, I saw V for Vendetta, which I really liked, despite the cheesy Matrix-like special effects in the final fight scene.

Monday- Patriots' Day! One of my favorite holidays, which I believed was celebrated nationwide until my freshman year at ND, when I mentioned it and no one had any idea what I was talking about. Patriots' Day commemorates the battle of Concord and Lexington that kicked off the revolutionary war, and is also known as Marathon Monday. Most people have the day off and spend it drinking beer, eating junk food, and cheering on the runners. I did exactly that, and even spotted Brian cruising by at the 25 mile mark. Congrats to him and to Tricia.

You know you're having a bad day when

strangers call you "creepy" on the internet. My friend Jason, who has a part-time gig as an assistant to the Celtics' mascot Lucky (yes, Lucky has an assistant), recently appeared in the corner of a photo that popped up in a basketball chat site. That's him in the very bottom right of the photo.

For the record, Jason is not creepy and does not look like Will Ferrell, but the fact that strangers are making fun of him on the internet is very, very funny.

TGIF

Happy birthday to Kim!
Happy anniversary to Kerry and Adam!

And happy, um, er, Good Friday to everyone who celebrates it! When I was a kid, I never understood why the day Jesus died was called Good Friday. It was always explained to me as "Well, Jesus died to give us eternal life, and that's why it's good." but I still couldn't get past the whole death on the cross thing. Nothing good about that, at least not for the big J. Additionally, I always hated the mass where the liturgy is more like a play of the trial of Jesus, and the parishioners are supposed to read the part of the angry crowd and recite lines like "Crucify him!" and "We want Barabbas!" I knew you were supposed to play along and read the lines, but I just couldn't do it. Saying it made me feel terrible, and not saying it made me feel guilty for not participating. Ahh..Catholic guilt will get you every time.

On a cheerier note, if you haven't seen Peep Research yet, do so immediately. Cracks me up every time, especially the Fear Response.

In the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room

Disney is selling a replica of the dress worn by hostesses in the Enchanted Tiki Room during the 1960's. The dress itself is a bit fug, but I must admit, I have an irrational love of the Tiki Room and all things tiki. The silly song, the singing birds and flowers, the tropical cheeriness....I LOVE IT! It might just be my favorite thing at Disney. Maybe the attraction to the hokey displays and get-stuck-in-your-head anthems is genetic; my father's favorite ride at Disney is It's A Small World.

Link via Scrubbles

Baaby Sarsgaard-Gyllenhaal

Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal are engaged and expecting a baby. They plan to name it Aaron if it's a boy and Aann if it's a girl. Ba-dump-bump. I'll be here all week, folks.

I'd wager $100 on Jay Leno making an equally lame joke about it tonight.

Excess social activity will not be tolerated

Speaking of coffee, I just received some bad news regarding the free coffee station in the office area at work. The email states:

We have decided to discontinue the coffee and tea service from Keurig. There have been issues of clean-up, replenishing the water supply and excess social activity in the office. For these reasons we have decided to discontinue the service.

It's the excess social activity line that kills me. Apparently friendly conversation over caffeinated beverages is a big no-no in the anti-social land of academic research laboratories.

Man, this sucks! No more free coffee.

Movie Review: The Squid and the Whale

I rented the Squid and the Whale, movie written by Noah Baumbach (of the Life Aquatic fame) and based on his childhood experience of dealing with divorcing parents in the 1980s. If you like your entertainment cringe-inducing, then this movie is for you: it's filled with painfully awkward moments, like the elder son pretending he wrote Pink Floyd's Hey You and performing it at a school talent show. Jeff Daniels is perfectly wretched as the washed-up academic with a superiority complex, and Laura Linney plays his (understandably) unfaithful wife. I've heard some people think the movie is hilarious, but I found it sad and uncomfortable more than anything else.

List #24...Things That Annoy Me about Starbucks

Inspired by Brigita's recent post, here's the list:

1. Overpriced.
2. No breakfast food. Coffee shops should sell bagels and muffins, at all times.
3. "Barista." There's no need for a fancy name for a coffee shop employee.
4. The goddam way they name the sizes. HATE IT.
5. Even worse then the name of the sizes is when the "barista" corrects you when you refuse to use the pretentious Starbucks terminology. Yeah, I know it's a "Tall," but I think that's stupid, so I'm ordering a Small and I know you know exactly what I mean.
6. Do-it-yourself cream and sugar. When you ordered a sandwich at a deli, do they expect you to make it yourself? Of course not. You're paying for the convenience, and everyone knows things taste better when someone else assembles them. When I buy a coffee, I want it to come the way I like it, not have to put down my purse, newspaper, and whatever else I may be holding to take off the lid, rip open sugar packets, find a stirrer, etc... If I wanted to make my own coffee, I'd do it at home.
7. The coffee tastes burnt.

Book Review: Water, Carry Me

I recently read Water, Carry Me, by Thomas Moran. The story centers around a young Irish woman, Una Moss, who leaves home, starts college, and falls in love, all against a backdrop of political violence that she tries, and ultimately fails, to avoid. The characters are believable and easy to relate to as they struggle with classes, make friends, get drunk, hook up, and adapt to their newfound independence, things many of us experienced when we left home for college. I was impressed by the fact that the author, Thomas Moran, writes so adeptly as a female character. The only other novel I can think of in which a male author succeeds equally in crafting a female protagonist is Memoirs of a Geisha. I don't want to spoil the ending in case any of you do read it, but I highly recommend Water, Carry Me.

Once a year I understand why people vote Republican

Federal taxes: I am getting a $118 refund. Woohoo!
State taxes: I owe $517. Booooo.

But does it have sharp, pointy teeth?

Monster rabbit terrorizes English gardens. Either the man in the photo is a midget, or that's one effing big bunny.

Weekend Report

Warning: long post ahead

So, last week, the guy I had been dating for the past couple of months (Bim, for you devoted readers) basically ended things due to some unresolved issues in his life. I don't feel like rehashing the whole thing over the internet, but essentially, I was Not Dumped by my Not Boyfriend. It's okay, though, we parted amicably (now there's a breakup phrase if I've ever heard one) and when the discussion came, I felt relieved more than anything, because I knew something was wrong so it saved me the anxiety of wondering about it, and it turns out that wasn't my fault, which, being a completely self-absorbed person, I had assumed it was. Anyways, so I'm fine, yadda yadda yadda, but was looking forward to a fun weekend filled with friends and booze.

Friday- It was pouring rain when I left work, so I bought an umbrella from the convenience store in my building, which lasted all of ten minutes before a gust of wind turned it inside-out while I was walking across Copley Square. You know how when there's bad weather in Boston, the news always shows a clip of a girl with the inside-out umbrella walking somewhere scenic? Well, I was totally that girl. The wind was so strong that I couldn't get the umbrella to invert again, plus I looked especially ridiculous battling the wind and the umbrella in high heels and a skirt. A bunch of stupid striped shirts laughed at me. I hate umbrellas.
My friend Kim is finishing a certificate in design program this spring, so a group of us attended her art show and went out to dinner at Cottonwood Cafe afterwards to celebrate. We ate, drank, and were merry, and margarita upon margarita put me in a festive and rowdy mood. Because I had seen the podiatrist that afternoon and gone straight out afterwards, I was carrying around my night splint in a shoebox all evening. My friend Phil, who has an Achilles tendon injury, showed up wearing a light-colored boot, which we dubbed Day Boot, and therefore renamed my black sleeping splint Night Boot. After several drinks, Night Boot became a song based on Bob Seger's Night Moves. We played pool, put some silly songs on the jukebox (Man In the Mirror, for example), drank more beers, and I slept soundly in the night boot.

Saturday- Went to the gym and ran some errands, then went to a dinner party out in the 'burbs. Ate lots of delicious Italian food, drank copious amounts of red wine, and was entertained by witty conversation and dogs with unfortunate haircuts.

Sunday- I saw Spamalot with my mom. It was hilarious. Partly due to nostalgia- does everyone go through a geeky phase in middle school during which they think Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail is like the funniest, ever? Partly due to the fact that it was quite humorous, especially when the musical itself is mocking musicals in general. We had great seats, too, which made it all the better, and easier to see. After that, I went over Carolina's and we watched the latest Harry Potter movie, Goblet of Fire. I don't know how we both managed to miss it in the theater, considering we're both fans of the books and the movies, and it was out for about four months. Nevertheless, the film was well done, and quite scary.

Plantar fasciitis update

So, today I went to the infirmary and got a referral to see a podiatrist about my foot pain. Turns out my self-diagnosis was correct: I have plantar fasciitis. Here's what the doctor ordered:
1. Wear orthotics in my shoes.
2. Wear a night splint to bed. Yeah, that's hott.
3. 3 Advil, 3 times a day.
4. Stretch it before I get out of bed.
5. Ice 20 minutes daily.
6. No running until the pain goes away.
7. No flip flops. Ever.

I bought the orthotics and the doctor gave me the silly-looking big black sleeping boot, which I will test drive tonight. Obviously, I shouldn't have waited as long as I did to get it taken care of (Will I ever learn?). I'm hoping that if I stick to the treatment plan for the next couple of weeks, I'll be able to start running again.

Those wacky nerds are at it again

MIT pranksters stole a cannon from Caltech, shipped it cross-country, and put it on display in Cambridge.

Happy Friday, everyone!

It's been a long, strange week here at DCoE headquarters. I'm currently running around the city bouncing from doctor to doctor to get my foot checked out (grad student insurance sux), so I don't have time to write about it now. Here's a picture of a puppy from Cute Overload to start your weekend off with a smile. I was originally going to post a photo of the Hoff with Gary Coleman, but for some reason, it kept coming out ginormous, and there is such thing as Hoff Overload.

Chung! Chung!

Christopher Meloni gets fugged. I forgive him already, even though that sweatshirt is ridiculous.

Baby shower brawl

I've made no secret of the fact that I'm not a big fan of showers (no, not your shower, it was lovely. *cough*), and that if I ever get married, there's NO WAY IN HELL I'm having a bridal shower. Showers are evil. Read what happened at this one:

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — A baby shower erupted into a fight among guests in which one man was shot and several other people, including the seven-months-pregnant guest of honor, were beaten with a stick, police say.

Well, at least it wasn't boring.

Eileen's Mystery Sangria recipe

Last night, my friend Ern came over for dinner, and I made fried plantains, Caribbean rice and shrimp (I love me some Zatarian's Rice Dinner mixes), and sangria. Lots of sangria. People often ask me how I make my sangria, and I'm reluctant to tell them, not because it's some Secret Recipe (did you ever have someone flat out refuse to give you a recipe for something? It's only happened to me once. I ate a delicious carrot cake at a party, and when I asked the girl who made it for the recipe, she said "It's a secret family recipe and I don't give it out." I gave her my best "Are you fucking kidding me?" face, but, alas, she wasn't joking. Then I gave her my "This isn't the 1950's anymore, when housewives apparently competed for social status based upon their baking prowess, leading to the so-called Secret Recipe phenomenon, so just give me the damn recipe" face, but that one didn't work either.) I don't like to tell people how I make sangria because, like snowflakes, no two batches are exactly the same. The recipe was created several years ago, at a dinner party when the Davidson sisters and I decided to whip up a batch of sangria and hunted around the kitchen to find potential ingredients. It came out delish, and I've attempted to recreate the original Mystery Sangria using the following guidelines:


1/2 bottle red wine (cheap is fine, but NO MERLOT. I'm not making a Sideways joke; I really don't like merlot.)
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup cranberry juice
1/2 cup lemon or lime seltzer water
1/4 cup rum (preferably Flor De Cana, but Bacardi gold or Captain Morgan's will also suffice)
2 tbsp. powdered lemonade mix
sliced apple, lime, and orange


Makes one pitcher. Stir and add more or less of any ingredient according to taste. Serve over ice.

Why Florida won the NCAA championship

In this article, the author points out that Florida star Joakim Noah (the long-haired cutie who tore it up in the final) has the coolest dad on the planet, Yannick Noah, a former tennis pro from France. Look at him- that's one cool dude. DILF material.

Once in a lifetime event coming soon

At two minutes, three seconds after one o'clock today, it will be
01:02:03 04/ 05/ 06

Dreams and workplace etiquette

When you have a dream about someone, do you have an overwhelming compulsion to tell them about it? Well, I do. I dreamt that I shot my co-worker Ajit in the leg with a BB gun. I really wanted to tell him but was worried that it would freak him out. He's a very sweet, mild mannered, fortysomething scientist from India. I don't know why I shot him in the dream; I wasn't angry or anything, but it was deliberate. He was standing across a field and I wanted to see if I could hit him.

I did tell him. He laughed, but I don't think he'll plan any hunting trips with me anytime soon.

Excellent*

The Simpsons Movie, coming in 2007. Watch the trailer.

*to be read in Monty Burns' voice

Plantar fasciitis

A couple of months ago, I mentioned having plantar fasciitis, an inflammation of the tendon of the foot that causes heel pain. It hasn't gone away. I had heard that the best thing to do for it was to rest, so I didn't go running for two whole weeks, and guess what? It didn't help. It's still hurting, even more so since I played soccer on Saturday. I've gotten some tips from people who've had it before; they've recommended stretching and rolling my foot around on a tennis ball. I also may buy shock-absorbing insoles to put in my shoes. I'm not sure if I can use the cheap ones you get in a drugstore or if I need fitted orthotics. I think I need to go see a doctor. I don't know why I've been putting it off. Okay, that's a lie. I'm 99% sure they're going to tell me that there's nothing they can do and I'm going to have to rest it for a couple of months, and I don't want to hear it. Summer's coming, and I want to be able to run outside, play soccer, and not sit around feeling like a lazy-ass. I'm also slightly worried that it might be something worse than plantar fasciitis, like a stress fracture or bone spurs, and I don't want to find out. However, I've reached the point where I'm tired of the chronic pain and I'm sick of limping around. There's something wrong with my foot and avoiding going to the doctor isn't going to make it any better.

Weekend Report

Friday- Worked late (booo), met some friends out for drinks, went to bed.

Saturday- Went to a baby shower for a soccer teammate, where the entire team gorged themselves on the buffet. I ate too much, then played soccer and stunk it up on the pitch because the majority of my energy was focused on not vomiting. After the game, I drove out to Framingham for a big night out in the suburbs: dinner at Chili's and a movie. I saw Failure To Launch, the new RomCom starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey. It was pretty much par for the course for the genre (chick flick). McConaughey plays Tripp, a charmer who still lives at home with his parents, who hire SJP to get him to move out of the house. Naturally, she ends up falling for him but the relationship goes haywire when he discovers the set-up. Both leads looked ten years older than their respective groups of friends (probably because they are), which hindered plot credibility . Zooey Deschanel was entertaining as SJP's sarcastic roommate, and according to her IMDB page, she's actually 15 years younger than SJP. Terry Bradshaw is fun to watch as Tripp's dad, and he even does a nude scene. Butt shot only; no full frontal (thank goodness). But other than that, the movie was predictable and had a few too many lame gags (mostly involving animals) for my liking. How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days was similar, but a lot better.

Sunday- I had intended to work in the lab all day, but it was too gorgeous outside to waste it on the pursuit of science. I ditched the lab and went shopping, ran some errands, and had dinner with Maria, her boyfriend, and her parents, who are visiting from Atlanta.

Go Bruins!

And I'm not talking about hockey. Despite the fact that I don't really follow college basketball (I'm more of an NBA fan), I am winning two of the three march madness pools I entered, due to the fact that I picked UCLA to make it to the finals.

On a happier note

It's a beautiful day in Boston today- sunny with a high of 70. And it's Friday. Hooray!

Trouble in Durham

Has anyone else been following this story about the Duke lacrosse team? During a house party predominately attended by lacrosse players, a stripper was allegedly attacked and raped by three men. The story has set off a shitstorm in Durham, both in terms of student-community relations and the racial elements of the incident. From the article:

In 911 tapes released Tuesday by the Durham Police Department, a female caller reported that as she walked past the house where the party occurred on the night of the alleged attack, a white man yelled racial slurs at her and a black friend from the front yard. The alleged rape victim identified her attackers as white men and also claims the athletes used racial slurs. Of the 47 members on the lacrosse team, 46 were forced to give DNA samples. The only black player on the team was exempted.

Yikes.

Bridge to Terabithia

The saddest book ever written, Bridge To Terabithia, is being made into a movie. I don't know if I'll be able to watch it. I read Bridge to Terabithia when I was 11 or 12, and it's still the saddest book I've ever read. Sadder than the dead babies in Angela's Ashes. Sadder than the dead dog in Old Yeller. Sadder than Anne Frank's diary. I'm starting to tear up right now just thinking about the book, and I read it like 17 years ago. Waaaaaah!

Jill Carroll released

Kidnapped American journalist Jill Carroll was released by her captors almost three months after her interpreter was killed and she was taken hostage in Baghdad. Throughout the ordeal, I've been surprised by the relative lack of media coverage of this story. Note to kidnappers: next time, pick a blonde.

I'm in love, y'all!

with Reese's White Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups. Ever since I developed a potent allergy to chocolate around the age of 11 (chocolate gives me migraines. Horrible, vomit-inducing, blurred vision, excruciatingly painful migraines), my life has been a long purgatory devoid of Reese's Peanut Butter cups. I am lactose intolerant, but explosive diarrhea I can deal with. Extremely unpleasant, but bearable. On the other hand, I wouldn't wish a chocolate-induced migraine upon my worst enemy. Not even on my gym nemesis. Just the smell of the poison makes me nauseous. So imagine my joy upon discovering that a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup had been created with a white chocolate coating, and not one speck of real, migrainogenic chocolate. It was a pure joy, a complete joy. I just ate one. And it was DELICIOUS.

Will wonders never cease

President George Bush and I agree on something: Immigration reform. It's been a hot topic in the news lately, with students in California demonstrating in support of illegal aliens, and the Senate supporting a bill by Senators McCain and Kennedy that outlines a plan to increase border security while allowing illegal aliens working here in the United States apply for citizenship. The President is backing this version of the legislation over stricter reform that lacks a guest-worker program. So maybe he just wants to have a cheap labor supply available for his rich corporate friends, but whatever. I've known many illegal immigrants (and if you've ever worked in the restaurant business, you have, too) and it really pisses me off when people bash immigrants. First of all, this country was founded by immigrants and unless you're a Native American, you're a big f%$cking hypocrite if you complain about them. Diversity of cultures and the work ethic of people who coming here for the opportunities of economic advancement are part of what makes this country great. Secondly, across the board, the illegals I've known work their asses off. We're talking two or three concurrent full time jobs. They aren't idly sitting around reaping benefits, because guess what? They're illegal and they don't get benefits.

Have you heard of the Minutemen? I hadn't, until last time I visited my sister in San Diego. We walked by a memorial to people who have died crossing the border, and I asked her "Oh, what did they all die from, dehydration?" and she said "A lot of them get shot." She explained that there's a vigilante group who call themselves the Minutemen who patrol private property along the Mexican border and shoot at illegal aliens. Here's their Very Scary Website. It's blatantly obvious that prejudice and racism is what motivates these Minutemen, despite their claims to the contrary.

Well, I'll stop my ranting before I get carried away.

Tom Jones on Ice

Didn't get enough men's figure skating during the winter Olympics? Watch this video of Russian skater Evgeni Plushenko. You might want to make sure no one is looking over your shoulder when you play it.

As an aside, I think the people who made Best In Show, etc., should totally do a movie about men's figure skating. The drama, the competitiveness, and the flamboyance of men's figure skating are ripe for the mocking.

List #23...Words I've mispronounced in public when I was old enough to have it be embarrassing

1. indicted
2. subtle
3. Ralph Fiennes
4. gyro (I never order these because I am afraid of mispronouncing it)
5. jicama (I never cook with these because I have no idea how to say it)

and although I do know the correct pronunciation of the word "crochet," and have never erred aloud with that one, whenever I see it written, my mind automatically reads it as "crotch" and that makes me laugh. Crocheted scarf = crotch scarf, and so forth.

Roomba costumes

We chipped in and bought my friends Dennis and Jill a Roomba for their wedding. I later discovered that one can actually buy costumes for Roombas at myRoomBud, a company started by a few kids who had the bright idea to make costumes for Roombas and sell them online. The French Maid costume made me laugh, but Roor the Tiger is my favorite.

Shopping, hangovers, and infidelity: My weekend

Friday- My friends Yuki and Jonathan arrived around 7AM, so I had breakfast with them then went to work for a few hours while they napped. We walked around the Copley area and all ended up spending too much money at Banana Republic. I was able to replace a black 3/4 sleeved silk shirt that was one of my go-to items until it got so worn and pilly that I finally had to force myself to throw it away. I've been looking for a replacement ever since, and I spotted one at Banana, on sale for $20, and all was right with the world. We met up with some friends for tapas and sangria at Tasca, one of my favorite places for group dinners. After that, we went out to a couple of bars in the Kenmore square area, where we watched the NCAA games and had a heated debate over which region of human skin is dirtier, the hands or the buttcheek. I say hands.

Saturday- Woke up, got ready, and headed down the Cape for Dennis' wedding. I had a couple wardrobe malfunctions: I ripped my nylons approximately 70 seconds after putting them on, so I had to ditch those, and my strapless bra kept sliding down my torso, giving me the dreaded quadraboob effect, so I secured it using double-sided tape that Kim just so happened to have with her for use in a graphic design homework project. We ran into Dennis leaving for the church and everyone gathered around him to wish him well, except I decided to yell, "Hey Dennis, don't screw up!" Later he would blame me for jinxing him. The ceremony was really nice, the bride Jill cried and barely got through her vows, which of course made my eyes water because I always start to cry when I see someone else crying. We also spotted a man with a fantastic mullet in the audience. At one point during the ceremony, the bride and groom took turns repeating vows after the priest said them, and here's where Dennis had a little trouble:

Priest: I promise you
Dennis: I promise you
Priest: My everlasting
Dennis: My everlasting
Priest: Love and fidelity
Dennis: Love and infidelity
*church erupts in laughter*

The reception was a blast, and it was great to catch up with my friends from high school, some of whom I rarely get to see. Unfortunately, I drank one zillion gin and tonics and snuck out of the afterparty to pass out in my bed.

Sunday- I woke up at 6AM still in my dress with double-sided tape stuck all over me. Not fun. Met up with the gang for breakfast, then our carload hit the Wrentham outlets on the drive back. I recovered enough from a terrible hangover to buy a bathing suit and a track jacket from Puma that I had been coveting for months. We stopped at Papa Gino's and ate pizza, which miraculously cured my hangover. I dropped Yuki and Jon at the airport and the weekend was over, all too soon.

TGIF

Happy Friday, everyone! I have friends in town and will be leaving work early today to go tool around the city with them. Tomorrow, I am going down the Cape for my friend Dennis' wedding, which should be a very good time, especially because several old friends from Framingham will be in attendance. Tomorrow also marks the start of wedding season; I have five this summer, which is pretty standard for me. I go to a TON of weddings.

What's Goin On

Watched Jarhead last night. Basically, it's Full Metal Jacket Lite. The trouble with war movies is that there are so many famous and excellent ones that viewers can't help but compare, especially with been there, done that scenes like "main character goes to boot camp and finds it extremely unpleasant." So, Jarhead isn't a bad movie, but it isn't a great one either. Jake Gyllenhaal looks the part, but his character isn't very enthralling. There's a whole plot line of him worrying about his girlfriend back home, and it just isn't interesting or believable: he's twenty years old, intelligent, somewhat cynical and obviously should realize that things with the girl back home aren't going to work out. It seems like an error on the part of the writers to have him pining away for her when that doesn't match the rest of the character's persona. I liked him better as a gay cowboy.

Chef gets killed, in spectacular fashion, on South Park. You knew this was coming.

My favorite online radio station, WOXY, now requires listeners to pay $9.95 per month to tune in. WOXY, you are dead to me. I guess I'll start listening to KEXP like all of the other online hipsters.

My toothache is gone! Turns out I had a big ole cavity. Supermodel/dental student fixed it yesterday afternoon. Actually, one of her professors fixed it, and he did a superb job. I think he was showing off in front of her, because normally the dental professors don't do the actual work.

I'm having trouble uploading photos on Blogger. Any Blogger users know what's going on? I want to post a few pictures from the St. Patty's Day party.

A few party photos

Despite the fact that I carried around my camera for several hours, I only took around 20 pictures, 10 of which were blurry, and I managed not to take a single one of the parade (or the hot firemen). And yes, one party guest really did dye his goatee bright green.

Toothache

GAAAAAAH! I have a terrible tooth/gum ache. For the past few days, my upper teeth have been sore. It was more of a dull ache with pressure that felt kind of like how my teeth felt after my braces were tightened, circa 1989. Yesterday, however, the dull ache turned into a sharp pain in the teeth and gums of the upper right side of my mouth. This morning, it felt fine when I woke up, but as soon as I bit into an English muffin, I felt a sharp pain that hasn't gone away. God damn those British and their breakfasts. Now, I am obsessively poking at my gums and pressing on my teeth to find out where the pain is stemming from, and that isn't helping the situation. I have a dental student that takes care of me (we grad students don't get dental insurance but they do assign us to dental students) and I called her this morning and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. As an aside, my student dentist is movie-star beautiful. I honestly wonder if they only assign female patients to her because they worry about men falling head over heels for her and causing problems. Even I have a crush on her.
Hopefully, my head won't explode before my appointment. I have no idea what this is- I'm thinking maybe it's something weird like a sinus or a gum infection that has inflamed some nerves.

Book review: The Known World

I just finished reading The Known World, a Pulitzer prize-winning novel by Edward P. Jones. The story takes place in Manchester County, VA, twenty years before the Civil War, and centers upon slavery. There's a twist: the plantation and slaves in the story are owned by a black man, Henry Townsend, a former slave himself. Henry Townsend's father bought his own freedom and worked to buy his wife and son from their white owner, but the owner, recognizing the intelligence of the boy, holds on to him for as long as possible. As a result, Henry grows distant from his parents and becomes a protege of his owner. Years later, Henry is the owner of a successful plantation and a community of slaves, and upon his death, his widow inherits the farm and the "property." I didn't especially love the writing style of A Known World, but the plot and the wide range of characters make the book a fascinating read. The book is character-driven and not overly preachy, but the injustice and cruelty of the system are obvious throughout the novel and do come to the surface in a couple of disturbing incidents. I definitely recommend The Known World.

Room for one more?

I found this photo gallery of overloaded vehicles quite amusing.

link via Lots of Co.

Most Improved : fraudulent email authors

A few months ago, I received one of those ridiculous fraudulent emails from the guy claiming to have wealth tied up in Zimbabwe or some such nonsense.
Today, I had three emails like this one:

Dear member,
You have received this email because we have strong reason to believe that your chase account had been recently compromised. In order to prevent any fraudulent activity from occurring we are required to open an investigation into this matter. If your account informations are not updated within the next 72 hours, then we will assume this account is fraudulent and will be suspended. We apologize for this inconvenience, but the purpose of this verification is to ensure that your chase account has not been fraudulently used and to combat fraud. Please login into your account and complete verification process. We apologize in advance for any inconvenience this may cause you and we would like to thank you for your cooperation as we review this matter.
Regards,
Chase Online Team.

There's a link at the bottom of the email that you are supposed to click to log in to your account. It almost sounds legitimate, right? However, the email came to a work account that I use only for science-related stuff and not to my hotmail account, which I use for everything else. Also, in the past, I have been contacted by my credit card company after unusually high activity on my card, but they have always called and not emailed. (Twice, the unusual activity was due to me being on vacation and having several charges from an unusual location, and once, the unusual activity correlated with a shopping trip to the Wrentham Outlets.) Anyways, I called Chase and told them about the email and they said it was definitely fraudulent and that they were aware of the problem. I have decided to give email scam authors a Most Improved award, because I only noticed a couple of small grammatical errors: a missing comma and the use of the word "informations." And they didn't once refer to me as "Respectful one."

Weekend Report: A Couple of Hot Parade Firemen Crashed My Party, Bitches

Friday- The boss was away, so the mice went out for a long lunch, complete with a St. Patrick's day Guinness. Unfortunately, the mice had to return for a 4-5PM meeting. After work, I was supposed to meet up with a friend downtown but abandoned that plan when she called to report that all of the bars had enormous lines and were charging $20 cover. Keep in mind that it was really cold all weekend (low 30s), so I was in no mood to stand in line outside for an hour. I ended up having an impromptu gathering at my apartment, which was slightly embarrassing because I wasn't planning to have people over so hadn't done the usual hiding of dirty laundry and general straightening up. My friend Jossy flew in for the weekend, so once she got in, we hung around and drank for a while more, then all headed over to the bar across the street.

Saturday- Party prep day. Jossy and I went grocery shopping and were both feeling a little cloudy from the previous night's activities, evidenced by the fact that we both started putting groceries in someone else's cart. A lady came over and said "Um, that's my cart. You think the balloons would have helped you figure that out." because there were three helium balloons tied to it. Our cart had zero helium balloons. After the grocery shopping adventure, I played soccer, and after that, we spent the rest of the night cleaning, decorating, and cooking.

Sunday- PARTY! The St. Patrick's Day party was a success, once again. We had about 70 people come, plus a few firemen the girls pulled in from the parade and three teenage party crashers that Maria kicked out. I had a great time, but when it was all over, I felt like it had gone by so quickly and I didn't really get a chance to talk to the majority of people there. My stomach had been bothering me, so I didn't drink that much and therefore avoided the drunken hijinks of years past. It was an interesting change of perspective to be an observer of drunken mayhem rather than an active participant. The night ended with pizza, cranberry vodkas, and gossiping about the day's events with two friends, which was far more enjoyable than doing something productive like mopping the floors would have been.

The Hoff needs no introduction

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here's to a day filled with joy, surprises, and Guinness! And if you're lucky, you may just end it by dancing with a strange man wearing a ridiculous green coat.

How you know that your family hates your hair color...

(for backrgound info, look here)

1. They get drunk on Christmas and tell you.
2. Your mother gives you a gift certificate to your hair salon.

Okay, people, I get it!

Corned beef, now 100% guilt-free!

Good news for practicing Catholics who want to dine on the traditional Irish fare of corned beef and cabbage this Friday. In many archdioceses, Boston among them, bishops have granted a special one day dispensation from the No Meat On Fridays During Lent rule, allowing Catholics to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with corned beef. They didn't say anything about not drinking your face off, so I'm assuming that's still considered A-OK.

Movie Review: Primer

I recently watched Primer, an independent film made in 2004. The movie is about two friends, both engineers and fledgling entrepreneurs who create a time machine in their garage. Things begin to unravel when one of the characters seems to get addicted to time travel, and their continued use of the machine without full understanding of it leads to a breakdown in trust as well as some presumably faulty attempts to alter past and future occurrences. Unfortunately, you never really get to see what happens and what goes wrong, it is just alluded to during interactions between the two main characters. I was looking forward to watching it, because I'd heard good things about it, but basically, I hated it. The plot is extremely confusing, mainly because once they start time traveling, they only go back or forward for short time periods, so you can't really tell if the character on screen is a real-time version, or a future version who has traveled back. I don't like movies that make me feel stupid (see Syriana...which I enjoyed far more than this one; at least it had a point). I suppose if I watched it again, I would know what clues to look for and could probably figure out the plot a bit more, but I don't have the patience to sit through Primer twice. I did find a detailed online explanation of the plot (spoiler alert!), so if you've watched this movie and need help figuring it out, look no further. A couple of other things about the movie annoyed me- first of all, the two main characters are much too handsome and preppy to be believable as true enginerds. They wear ties all of time, too, which struck me as odd. A lot has been made of the fact that the entire film was done on a $7000 budget, but I, for one, was not impressed. Part of me thinks much of the praise I've heard is Emperor's New Clothes syndrome: people are reluctant to admit that they didn't get it, so they pretend like they did and talk about what a great movie it is. But guess what, Primer? You didn't fool me. I'm not dumb, you are!

Ides of March

Happy Birthday to my college roommate and Web Goddess extraordinaire!


Happy Death Day to Julius Caesar! In 10th grade I had to memorize the "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears" speech from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar and I still remember it.

Shhhhh.....

Post Secret won a bunch of awards in the 2006 Bloggies. What is Post Secret? Half blog, half art project, in which people send in anonymous homemade postcards spilling a secret, and each week, several postcards are selected and posted on the blog. It's fascinating stuff, and the premise reminds me a bit of Found Magazine, which features a collection of found items. Here is my favorite from this week's collection:

Chef quits South Park and destroys my un-PC analogy

Isaac Hayes, the singer who provides the voice of Chef in South Park has quit the show because he's upset that the cartoon often mocks his religion: Scientology. My personal theory on scientology is more of an analogy or an SAT problem.

______ is to rich, white actors as Islam is to rich, black athletes.

A. Catholicism
B. Judaism
C. Scientology
D. Mormonism

If you answered "C", you are correct! The following examples support my theory: Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Muhammad Ali, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Isaac Hayes is a singer/actor and not an athlete, but I always assumed that it was only the whities who went for Scientology.

The official start of spring

For me, one thing, and one thing only marks the first day of spring. No, it's not the vernal equinox. Robin redbreast? Phooey. Spring begins on the first day of the year that I buy an iced coffee. It was in the sunny with temperatures in the mid-50s on Saturday, and I had my first Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee of the year. And let me tell you, it was DIVINE. Too bad temperatures are dropping once again.

Drained

is exactly how I feel right now. I had a very busy weekend (work dinner party, soccer game, bridal shower, etc...) on top of the stress and last-minute preparations for today's seminar and thesis committee meeting. Let's just say I'm batting 0.500. The seminar went well, although I did use the word "experimentating" once, and flubbed a couple of questions, like when someone in the audience asked me if my bacterial strains were isogenic.
Isogenic...isogenic...isogenic, I know I should know what this word means, but for the life of me, I can't remember. ..."What exactly do you mean by that?" Translation: I have no fucking idea what isogenic means. Turns out it means "on the same genetic background," so I actually did know the answer to the question. Aside from those minor glitches, the seminar went well and I got lots of questions at the end, which is generally a good sign that people were listening and at least somewhat interested in what you were saying. As for the committee meeting, it didn't go so well. For the past few months, I've been nagged by feelings that my project isn't going anywhere, that I'm never going to publish anything, and that I'm never going to graduate. Part of me thought I was just being pessimistic and paranoid. Unfortunately, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that your thesis project isn't a total disaster. My committee basically told me that they are worried that my project isn't going anywhere, that I'm never going to publish anything, and that I'm going to be stuck in grad school for years and years. Ouch. I think I need a glass of wine and a long, hot shower. As for the housesitting gig, so far, I have no plans to move out to the sticks anytime soon, but it hasn't been so bad. Life's a lot less lonely when you have an entourage of three animals who follow you room to room.

Nazi imagery in my powerpoint presentation

One of my coworkers just informed me that the symbol I use for "a break in time" on my graphs:




Looks like the symbol for the Nazi SS:












Yep. Better change that one before my big seminar on Monday.

Exile to the suburbs

Starting tomorrow, I will be spending the week housesitting for a coworker in Medfield, MA, a charming little town approximately 45 minutes from Boston. Aaaaaaah! What was I thinking, agreeing to this? Over the past few years, I've become a bona fide (now I only think of O Brother, Where Art Thou when I hear the phrase "bona fide") city mouse. I love living in the city. I love the people, the noise, the hustle, the bustle, and above all, the convenience. From my apartment, a grocery store, bank, dry cleaner, liquor store, coffee shop, video store, drugstore, beach, and several bars and restaurants are all within a ten minute walk, and it's a quick 20-minute bus ride to work. It's fantastic. Maybe the change of pace will be nice, and my sister has already dubbed the event "Medfield Detox." I'll be taking care of a dog and two cats and staying in a house built during the 1890s. I plan on watching lots of movies, (because what the hell else am I going to do there?) so let me know if you have any recommendations.

Weird science

Okay, I know I'm supposed to be working and not blogging, but I couldn't resist posting these three bizzare items for your enjoyment (and not a single one features an interspecies friendship!)



1. New crustacean discovered: the white, fuzzy Yeti Crab. Don't think I'll be eating one of these anytime soon.

link via Lots of Co.



2. Speculation that the famous photo of the Loch Ness Monster was actually the trunk of a swimming elephant.

link via Ghost in the Machine


3. The missing link? Probably not, but five members of this Turkish family are quadrupeds (translation: they walk on all fours). Apparently their parents did not read Middlesex and were therefore unaware of the genetic risks associated with incest. Marrying a close relative is bad, mmkay?

And piles to do before I sleep

Apologies for the lack of blogging that will occur for the next few days. I've loads to do- my annual departmental seminar and thesis committee meeting are both next Monday and I am SLAMMED trying to get everything prepared on time. You know those people who always say "I'm never drinking again!" when they have a bad hangover? Well, I think those people are ridiculous liars and I am not one of them. But I will say this: I am never going to procrastinate so badly ever again!

You can still leave comments, though. That would make me happy.

Add Jake Gyllenhaal to the list of celebrities I want to party with

Check out these photos of Jake partying it up the night before the Oscars. I love me some happy drunk goofiness. That, and I've always thought that J. Gyllenhaal looks like a bizzaro version of Eri's boyfriend, Ryan. You've never seen them in the same room, have you?

link courtesy of Freakgirl

P.S. If the fact that the title to this post ended in a dangling preposition bothered you, well, suck it. "With whom I would like to party" just sounded way too uptight.

And the Oscar goes to...

Here's a list of all the winners. I did manage to catch most of the Oscars on TV. Here are some observations:
-White women look terrible in beige. Why, ladies, why?
-J. Lo looked beautiful in green. Not too crazy about the dress, but I loved the color.
-Lauren Bacall has either lost her memory or eyesight, because she couldn't follow the teleprompter. Or maybe she was drunk. Either way, I felt bad for her.
-Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep, on the other hand, rocked.
-Waaaaay too many montages and technical awards. BOR-ing.
-Jon Stewart did a good job hosting, but he must have spent the entire ceremony biting his tongue.
- I think Philip Seymour Hoffman looks like a weird, slightly younger blend of Michael Moore and John Madden.
-I can't believe Crash won Best Picture.
-I'm glad It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp won best song, and I'm glad Queen Latifah was the one who got to announce it.
-However, Dolly Parton gave the best live performance, by far.
-Michelle Williams is a terrible dresser, but she landed Heath Ledger, so good for her.
-Best accessories: the stuffed penguins belonging to the March of the Penguins guys

Frustration in procrastination nation

I have my annual departmental seminar and semi-annual thesis committee meeting a week from today, and by this Wednesday, I have to have my report and talk ready. The problem? Just that over the past six months I haven't managed to do half of the experiments that I was supposed to, because I'm a big, fat procrastinator. The result? Me being stuck in the lab all frickin weekend. I even had to turn down invitations to Newport and to the NCAA Big East tournament. Grumble....

Movie Review

I love John Irving books. My two favorite are The World According to Garp and The Hotel New Hampshire. Last night, I was scrolling through the free movies offered on Comcast and saw a listing for The Hotel New Hampshire. I had no idea it was even a movie (it was filmed in 1984), so of course, I was intrigued and had to watch. Guess who's in it? A young Jodie Foster, Rob Lowe, and a toddler Seth Green. So weird! Although the book is fabulous, like all Irving novels, it's pretty warped and twisted. Plots involving trained bears, rape, terrorism, incest, suicidal clowns, midgets, and taxidermy don't necessarily make good movie fodder. It's the sort of novel I'm hesitant to recommend to people, in case they find it offensive and decide that I'm some kind of sicko for liking it. But you readers are likely already aware of the fact that I am indeed a sicko, so I'll go ahead and recommend the novel. As for the movie, skip it, unless you're a big Jodie Foster or Rob Lowe fan.

Phallic logo awards

You might notice something unusual about all of the ads and logos featured here...

from Sore Eyes

Misadventures in ice skating

Yesterday, I went ice skating with my co-workers on frog pond on Boston Common. Yes, how very Winter in New England of us. Those of you who are aware of my feelings towards non-shoe sports understand that this is a very big step for me. I dread activities like ice skating. I'm terrible at them, and they bring up all sorts of horrid childhood memories of public embarrassment. So, I was surprised to say that last night wasn't that bad. I don't know if I could describe it as fun, exactly, but there were no injuries or crying incidents, and I only fell twice. I was definitely the worst person on the ice (my only competition was a 4 year old girl), but I looked as it as a public service, like, if anyone else there was worried about looking like an idiot, they would see me and immediately be reassured that there was at least one other person worse than them. I did manage to progress beyond terrified clinging to the side rails, and I still only push with one leg, but I did move forward on occasion. My coworkers were really helpful and patient, and one of them even had to tie my skates for me, because I couldn't even manage to do that. I had an outfit twin- an Asian guy was wearing the same puffy red jacket and white knit hat as I, and caused some amazed bewilderment when my coworkers saw him doing tricks in the middle of the ice and initially thought it was me. Will I go again? Hmmm...probably not. But it wasn't that bad.

Eileen needs...

Here's a silly little time-waster. Run a Google search on "(Your first name) needs" and see what pops up. Here are a few of mine:

Eileen needs a new guitar for her daughter.
Eileen needs to incorporate five portions of fruit into her diet.
Eileen needs someone to run to when they call out, "Eileen!"
Eileen needs to come to terms with her missing husband.
Eileen needs a pseudo husband for her high-school reunion.
Eileen needs a hot coffee.
Eileen needs to know about this swamp ass.
Eileen needs a thousand dollars because she and her husband are trying to flee to Mexico.


What Eileen really needs is to stop goofing around on the internet and start working on her thesis. Although I am curious about that swamp ass.

Feel good story of the day

When autistic high school student Jason McElwain failed to make his high school basketball team, he became team manager. In the final game of his senior year, the coach let him dress for the game and put him in with 4 minutes left on the clock. Jason scored 20 points, the majority off of 3-pointers. I recommend that you watch the video, just hit Launch Motion Player and it should pop up. It's a few minutes long, but stick with it to see the footage from the game. It's awesome to see the entire gym go insane when Jason starts scoring. High schoolers can be mean and cruel, but they can also be very kind.

Movie Review

Last night, I watched Born Into Brothels, a documentary about children of sex workers in India. Photographer Zana Briski originally took on a project to document the lives of the women working in the Red Light District, but found that while the women were reluctant subjects, their children were eager to pose for photos and interact with her. She decides to teach them a class on photography, and, through showcasing their work, she provides them with opportunities to escape the brothel life by attending school and furthering their education. One unusual aspect of the movie is that there are no subtitles: the photographer speaks in English and the kids all speak in their native language (Bengali?), with the assumption that an unseen translator helps them communicate. I thought it was strange that the photographer didn't speak their language, considering that she had lived and worked in India for several years. Part of me wanted to understand what the kids were saying, but part of me assumed that the lack of subtitles was a deliberate technique used by the filmmakers to illustrate the language barrier and the fact that despite it existence, everyone managed to communicate. Either that, or I rented the one copy of the movie with no subtiles. Overall, the movie is very uplifting. It's amazing to see that these kids, who grow up in such dire circumstances, act like kids just like everywhere else: laughing, playing, complaining about chores, and having temper tantrums. The story has a happy ending. Through the efforts of the photographer, the majority of the children followed during the film end up in school and on the road to a better life, leaving viewers with the inspiring message that one person really can make a difference.